America the Bigoted

Ok, now let me start off by saying that I honestly don’t give a damn about the Superbowl. I don’t get the hype, I don’t get the razzmatazz, I don’t get the breathless anticipation over the half-time shoe and most of all, I don’t get American football. I do get that it’s all about money.. big money… big money brought in by advertisers. Which is why the one football game I’ve ever seen took three hours to broadcast a game that lasts an hour – all the ad breaks. Yes, every time they stop play – which seems to be every 10 seconds – there’s an ad break.

 So, when you have the biggest thing on American TV going on, you’d expect the advertisers to get some bang for the many, many bucks they’re spending and put out something catchy or edgy to get people talking.

And this is exactly what Coca-Cola did. Now I haven’t seen the ad, but apparently it featured the song “America the beautiful,” with a portion of the lyrics sung in Spanish, to reflect the diversity of American culture.

Well, what it actually reflected is just how many right-wing racist fuckheads there are in the US, because they took to Twitter in their masses, howling their indignation that HOW DARE COKE INCLUDE SPANISH IN MAH SONG?!

Most of the posts were along the lines of “This is America! We speak English here!” (made doubly hilarious by the posts that were so grammatically awful that English would promptly disown whoever was using its name in vain) which means that the posters are all happily ignorant of the fact that America does not have an official language. Then again, I would expect such arcane knowledge to be well above the kind of mentality we’re dealing with here. Here’s a short sample I pulled off Coke’s Facebook page:

cokeThe really worrying one comes from somebody clearly serving in the US armed forces. Yes, he took an oath to defend the country… but evidrntly only the English-speaking bits of it.

tumblr_inline_n0eg64IQhs1qawfnhAs always, Public Shaming have done sterling work in putting together a gallery of the terminally bigoted and stupid.

And, of course, this post wouldn’t be complete without pointing out the mental midgets, who a) want  to speak something called “American” (would that be an Esperanto-esque English/Spanish/French pidgin perhaps?)  and b) don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”


Of course, there were the usual calls for boycotts (to add to the calls to boycott Starbucks and girl scout cookies. Oh and not to forget Subway, because they dared to take part in a project endorsed by the First Lady.) , and claims that people would switch to Pepsi. Of course, the irony here being that these are the same waddling fuckwads who were outraged, OUTRAGED, when the left called for a boycott of Chick-fil-A over their anti-gay policies.

Once again showing the kind of mental faculties that means they can’t breathe without instructions, these morons are clearly unaware that Pepsi is very much pro-gay rights, and has drawn criticism from conservatives for being so. Then again, we are talking about the same mindset that said they’d move to Canada if Obamacare ever became a thing. Canada, a country that already has “socialised medicine.”

And I wonder just how many of these bigoted jackasses would still consider “America the Beautiful” such an amazing song, if they knew it was penned by a lesbian, who left the Republican Party, in protest against their anti League of Nations xenophobia.

However, in pride of place, and to conclude this post, I’ll leave you with the outraged jackasses who don’t even know what their country’s national anthem is. Yeah, that’s the kind of patriots we’re talking about.


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Welcome to 2014!

I know, Dear Reader, I know. I have sadly let this humble blog gather dust during the last year. The road to hell and good intentions and all that. However, 2014 is the year that I promise to kick, beat and pummel this back into life.

After all, when “they” dish up goodies like this, it would be remiss of me not to point and laugh:

exYeah, we couldn’t make it up.

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The Ignorant Scum Raise Their Voices Again

Oh dear.

I suppose given the general level of batshit insanity that US politics has descended into, it would take something out of the ordinary for this blog to creak back into life again. Even then, it could be argued that given the monumental ignorance displayed on an almost daily basis by vast swathes of the American population, this isn’t that out of the ordinary. But it made me mad… mad enough to either vent my spleen on my humble blog, or punch a kitten in the face. Fortunately for you, Dear Reader, there were no kittens in my immediate vicinity.

So the new Miss America has been crowned. Now, I must stress upfront that I would rather crush my balls in a garlic press, than watch a beauty pageant. Not because I support some radical feminist point of view, but because the idea of watching vacuous bimbos, wearing smiles so fake they threaten to unhinge the top half of their empty heads, reciting inane answers to equally inane questions and parading around like cattle at an auction, makes me weep for the future of mankind. And yes, I used words like “vacuous” and “empty heads” and I’m sure somebody will say “Oh, but some of them have degrees and the winner wants to be a doctor!” to which I reply, “Fuck you. Fuck you and the sanctimonious sack of bullshit you rode in on.” It’s great that they have degrees and want to make something of themselves, but if they need to prance around, half naked, in order to make their mark on the world, then they are vacuous, empty headed bimbos. Sure, they all want to change the world – if you believe their scripted answers – but who even remembers who won a year or two ago? When did a Miss America, or Miss Universe (seriously, could you get more pretentious?) for that matter, ever do anything to change the world, besides be the pretty face of some or other charity for a few months, before fading into the background, to marry some playboy?

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Same Old Story

“I can sell you lies
You can’t get enough
Make a true believer of
Anyone, anyone, anyone (Chvrches, Lies)

So… Ray Comfort has a new documentary out, called “Evolution vs. God.” As Bananaman himself describes it:

What do scientists from top universities say when they are asked to give the most compelling evidence they can for Darwinian Evolution? This special video download contains some of today’s most explicit “proof” that evolutionism is a religious belief—and the evidence comes from interviews of several of Charles Darwin’s leading modern disciples! An amazing look at modern-day atheism.

Needless to say, Comfort’s fellow charlatans in Ken Ham, Kirk Cameron and Ron Fathauer are all creaming their pants over it, as they engage in sycophantic mutual masturbation. Pride of place to go to Fathauer, who claims:

Dawkins will have a cow.

Yeah. From laughing.

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The End Result of Biblical Literalism

Basing your life around the principles of science as envisioned by a bunch of nomadic goat herders 4,000 years ago, does result in some interesting consequences. Not least of which is a blithering ignorance of just how the world, and everything in, on and around it, works. Of course, such ignorance has never been an impediment to the truly religious, most of whom absolutely revel in – and certainly seem proud of – a level of ignorance that’s probably greater than most junior school children (take the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, who happily went on record, claiming that it’s Jesus that holds all the atoms of the universe together).

Protecting such ignorance against the evils of the world, takes a special kind of dedication, especially when you have to protect your loved ones against the evils of evolution, other gods, atheism, vaccinations and space travel.

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Who Cares if it’s Parody if it Feeds Our Paranoia?

Ok, confession time. The other day I fell hook, line and sinker for a parody article. However, in my defence, it wasn’t that I believed the content of the article, just that it was entirely plausible that somebody actually meant what was written there.

It was a classic example of Poe’s Law, which states “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.” In this case, I was that someone.

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Clearly you had some other Hitler in mind?

Those of you familiar with internet lore – and indeed law – will have at some point come across Godwin’s Law, which states in its simplest form:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one

Now, amongst the many ills one can attribute to the mad Austrian – just think how different the world would be today, if he’d made like his countrymen can kept a relative captive in a secret cellar for several years… then again, he did end up in a bunker… hmmm… but I digress – is the fact that he’s basically become the international standard for something horrible.

And by default the name to which people of a moronic bent (on both sides of the political spectrum) can link things that they disagree with, in a puerile attempt to demonise whatever it is they disagree with – in most cases things like – but not limited to – homosexuality, gun control, atheism and abortion.  I would have included vegetarianism in there, but according to QI, Hitler wasn’t a veggie – and who am I to argue with Stephen Fry? Possibly the worst example of the argumentum ad Hitlerum went along the lines of “Hitler was kind to animals, therefore animals’ rights groups are Nazis.”

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