Dramatis Personae

I suppose it’s best to start at the beginning and list some of the main characters at Conservapedia, the alleged Wikipedia for conservatives (that even Conservatives don’t know about – ConservativeUSA’s so-called “Right Links” makes no mention of them, although Mother Phyllis’ Eagle Forum is there), you’ll be coming across very often in the posts that will follow. Fortunately, there aren’t too many – between defections to a rival wiki and the administrators’ habit of blocking everything that breathes, the average day’s “recent changes” page constitutes several administrators and a horde of vandals – i.e. people trying to insert facts into the gibberish there. It’s probably best to focus on the administrators for now, which is a misnomer, because the one thing they don’t do is administration.

  • Andy Schlafly (the son of  right-wing poster harridan, Phyllis – she who thinks Shariah law is bad, because you can beat your wife, but marital rape is A-OK… don’t believe me? Just read this article she wrote and published on her own Eagle Forum.) runs CP as an wiki-based encyclopaedia, originally designed to assist the students he home schools. (This is a Harvard-qualified lawyer, teaching kids in a church basement – speaks volumes about the man). Ok, in fairness, he’s also General Counsel for the bunch of quacks known as the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (these are the same “doctors” who accused Obama of using “mind-control” to win over voters. Fun bunch!) and is also anti-vaccine. Besides being unfit to house-train a puppy, he’s also managed to turn CP into his own anti-Obama blog, gleefully assisted by fellow admin (and quite possible parodist) John Patti. It seems Andy was on the Harvard Law Review with Obama (see pic. hint: Andy is the white guy) and is seriously disgruntled that he’s in a church basement and the black man is in the White House.

  • Ed Poor. Touts himself as “user 188” on Wikipedia (in other words the 188th person to sign on. Whoopee!)  and was a developer and a bureaucrat, yada yada yada, conveniently forgetting to mention that he was stripped of his powers because of abuse (of the powers fortunately, although spend any time chatting to him and you’ll feel the need for a shower) and had a subsequent request for WP admin withdrawn, before it was denied. Has found the perfect home to abuse his powers, as well as too house his ego, which far exceeds his capabilities. Oh yes, he’s also a Moonie, which makes his presence on a “Conservative Christian” website pretty odd.
  • Conservative. Nifty name, allegedly belonging to one Ken deMeyer, who has an interest in Atheism, Homosexuality and Evolution that goes way beyond the obsessive. His style of writing articles is even more bizarre – it consists of quote-mining various people, then saying “Look, they said it, so it must be true!” The three articles mentioned above have probably done more to turn CP into the laughing stock of the internet, than the rest of them combined.
  • Karajou. An ex-Navy man, who mentions his 20 years of service, where he’s sailed to, lists fancy sounding acronyms for the courses he’s attended… and yet fails to mention a rank. Primary function is to serve as CP’s muscle, hounding out unwanted editors, no doubt using the same broom he used to swab the decks.
  • Terry Koeckritz. Actually, he hides behind the online nick “TK”, but seeing as he’s such a wonderful specimen, he deserves to have his full name out there. This character has to be seen to be believed. He lives for tearing apart on-line communities, something he did with Hot or Not and once before with CP, when he revealed the inner secrets of the administrators to people at other websites. Strangely blind to this, Andy re-appointed him, despite howls of protest from some of the administrators. Since then it has been business as usual – harassing editors, using their IP address to highlight their locations, blocking something like 11 million IP address from being allowed to edit CP. In other words, he’s the troll’s troll and he’s happily going about his business, under the wing (but clearly not eyes or mind) of Andy. He sees himself as CP’s de facto Number Two. What’s really interesting, however, are his interests in  (and administration of) a couple of other *ahem* unusual sites, that would likely be frowned upon by the good, God-fearin’, sex-is-dirty folk at CP. Luckily somebody provided us with a screencap of Terry Koeckritz‘s hangout. Warning – NSFW! Really nice guy.

So that constitutes the gang of five. There are several other nutters that we’ll come across, but we’ll deal with the as we get there.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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4 Responses to Dramatis Personae

  1. Jim says:

    Shit! Just got finished reading the entire archive of your website. Well done. Keep it up.

    • cpmonitor says:

      Thanks Jim! Glad you enjoyed reading it. Hopefully I can continue to keep you entertained and informed… with a little help from Schlafly and the Conservapedia boys, of course!

  2. Mihir says:

    Though I live in India, and thus have next to nothing to do with the crazy website in question, I’ve had a lot of fun reading WIGO:CP from RationalWiki, and therefore, found even more lulz in reading your blog archives. Keep it up, man.

    • cpmonitor says:

      Namaste, Mihir! Thanks for the kind feedback – hopefully CP will be around for some time to come, to keep us entertained.

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