I’ve already mentioned that Conservapedia sysop Ed Poor has some strange ideas when it comes to what is and isn’t appropriate on Conservapedia (out = references to Jack the Ripper’s victims as prostitutes; in = an article on bestiality). It’s always refreshing to see new examples of just how his mind works.
Sysop Brian MacDonald (aka Karajou) would appear to be a fan of Tomb Raider and uploaded a copy of the first game’s cover to CP. Looking at the file name, and scouring Google images, tells me that the one shown alongside was probably the one he used.
I say “probably” because along came Ed (slow walking Ed Jones, slow talking Ed Jones… I love that song!) and deleted it, claiming it was “too slutty”. Needless to say, Brian was a bit worried about this and queried his Edness.
“Ed Poor, I uploaded the cover to the first Tomb Raider game, and you deleted it for being “too slutty”. Any explanation for it?”
Ed’s reply is a classic of our time:
“Voluptuous breasts and bulging vulva isn’t slutty?”
Now I’ve studied that image pretty closely, and I can’t see a vulva – bulging or otherwise. Clearly, neither can Brian, who – full marks to him – was probably also scratching his head at this point.
“First, there is no bulging vulva; the box art doesn’t show that. Second, large breasts does not make a woman slutty; if that was the case then we’d run half the women on earth to a jail cell for prostitution…and that would include Dolly Parton.
Third, Eidos will not allow nor tolerate any attempt to portray Lara Croft in a compromising position. They even sued the creator of the “Nude Raider” game patch and won.”
It’s ok, Brian, we understand. You were dealing with creepy “Uncle” Ed Poor, after all. And I also had a thing for Dolly Parton way back when, although your association of “slutty” with “prostitution” is a bit odd. Maybe it’s the girls you hang out with? You are a sailor, after all.