Relatively Speaking


Andrew Schlafly dislikes many things. Chief amongst these would appear to be Pres. Obama, Professors, Hollywood and for some strange reason the Theory of Relativity. Just reading the talk page (plus archives) gives you a pretty good insight into just how Andy thinks – even when confronted with facts by his own brother.

I’ve spoken about his run-in with Kate Sorenson before, where Andy came up with the wonderful statement: “Why the big push for black holes by liberals, and big protests against any objection to them? If it turned out empirically that promoting black holes tends to cause people to read the Bible less, would you still push this so much?” That went on to become a recurring theme in Andy’s defence of Why-Relativity-Is-Wrong – because people won’t read the Bible if they believe in relativity. And this man teaches children??

Now, dear reader, you might be wondering just why our hero has such a hard-on for Einstein’s theory – besides the fact that it’s science and goes some way towards explaining the universe. Given that people of Andy’s ilk prefer to think that Goddidit, that sort of thing makes them profoundly uncomfortable. However, were that the reason was so simple.

No, the reason that Andy doesn’t like the Theory of Relativity is that in his mid, it’s linked to Moral Relativity. Yes, I’ll say that again. The Theory of Relativity is bad, because it is linked to moral relativity. Don’t believe me? Well here it is from Andrew himself: “Liberals do try to use relativity to push moral relativism. Barack Obama supposedly helped with a law review article that did exactly that.” I like the subtle, unsourced dig at Obama in that reply too.

In case you’re wondering just what “Moral relativity” is, allow me to quote from CP’s article on the matter:

Moral relativity is the wrongheaded idea that there is no absolute Right or Wrong, and that anyone can freely use his own conscience to decide what is moral. A moral relativist will not say that theft or murder is wrong, because he believes it is up to the murderer or thief to decide whether his behavior is justified.

Unsurprisingly, moral relativity is exclusively a liberal belief, as conservatives believe that God is the ultimate arbiter of Good and Evil.

Ah yes, an encyclopaedia that uses terms like “wrongheaded”. It’s even more amazing, when Andy tried to cram as many of his pet beliefs into the article as possible, saying things like, “Moral relativity and related foolish thinking is what allows liberals to support abortion, gay rights, and drug abuse. Moral relativity erodes principled self-defense and thereby leads to misguided demands for gun control as well as psychiatric problems resulting from a lack of mental self-defense.’ Wow. Just wow.

The strange thing is, I’ve done a search on both Conservapedia and Google and nowhere – not even on CP – can I find an example of the one being used to promote the other. Even CP’s article on Moral Relatively only states:

While the idea of moral relativity exists independently of (and substantially predates) the scientific theory of relativity, moral relativists seized on the theory of relativity to legitimize their views. Historians such as Paul Johnson wrote about how the theory of relativity caused a sea change, justified or not, in 20th century thought. Due to this conflation, liberal professors heavily support the Theory of Relativity and try to use it to draw followers away from Biblical morality.

Even from that unsourced definition (which basically means it’s yet another “insight” Andy’s pulled out of his ass) I can’t see how Moral Relativity has anything to do with The Theory of Relativity.

Oh… wait… wait… I see it now! They both contain the word “Relativity”. Hallelujah! I’ve seen the light! I’m saved! Can I climb on the rapture bus now, please?

Fucking morons.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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3 Responses to Relatively Speaking

  1. Pi says:

    There is this weird correlation between people who hate relativity and being an engineer, I’ll have to find the link to an article on that. I wonder if we can gain some insight to Andy’s education, he must have taken physics at some point in his degree, yet he seems to be ignorant of the theory to the highest degree. My one guess might be he struggled with the idea or course at college and has hated it ever since.

    • cpmonitor says:

      For somebody so anti-science it seems strange that he would even have considered engineering as a career. He does state somewhere “if you spend enough time around physics departments as I have” or words to that effect, so he must have some training in it.
      Then again, this is Andy we’re talking about – who knows where his special brand of crazy comes from.

  2. Pingback: How To Spot A Psychopath :: Seeking (Economic) Enlightenment :: June :: 2010

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