Wow! Andrew Schlafly is really peddling Conservapedia hard… and sounding more and more like one of those people (Kevin Trudeau comes to mind… or the chick from the Big Green Clean Machine) you see touting their snake-oil on the Home Shopping Network.
Call now, our operators are standing by. Use our special brand of conservatism for at least one by-election and
Lose inches from your waist, hips and butt! Yes! Conservatism cures obesity and other addictions. Of course, never mind that obesity isn’t an addiction, you’ll still be cured. After all, as they say, laughter is the best medicine, and if you hang out at Conservapedia, you’ll be laughing… a lot!
Depressed? Suicidal? You don’t need Oprah to help you with those time wasters. No! become conservative and all your problems will magically vanish. Just think, you’ll be able to replace all that time you wasted in therapy talking to your shrink, with time talking to God. And the bonus is, God doesn’t talk back, so you even save time and money, to donate to the GOP.
Tired of deceit and bias? Don’t worry – you’ll be able to trade them in for a brand new set, untouched by human mind.Delight in the wonder of calling your President a Muslim! Marvel at the secret Commie plot behind Health Care! Squeal as the evil truth behind Relativity is revealed! Create your very own Hitler/Darwin composite picture!
We’ll remove temptation of all kinds, especially the one to actually think for yourself. Yes! No more having to wonder what’s right and wrong. Simply open your mind and let me fill it with whatever crap I can get away with – which is EVERYTHING, because it’s my encyclopaedia and I’ll block anybody who says otherwise.
So call 1-800-IAMANIDIOT now. Our operators are standing by… if Terry Koeckritz takes your call, you are not obliged to give him your home address.