Football Woes

As has been mentioned many, many times, Andrew Schlafly really knows a great deal – if not everything – about everything. And he certainly isn’t a man to let his monumental ignorance get in the way of a good comment. Lately, he’s taken to the World Cup (I wonder if FIFA could have him up for ambush marketing), and started predicting how teams would perform… except that most of his predictions came after the fact.

Some of the funnier claims include:

  • The USA would beat ‘atheistic’ England, because the USA had a better goalie. (They drew 1-1)
  • Ghana beat the wealthier and larger USA team, because a) feminists had banned football at several US colleges and b) the Ghanaians (what the hell do you call people from Ghana) prayed before each match.
  • “Soccer denies intelligent use of the hands, while encouraging unintelligent use of the brain.” How does one even begin to respond to that? Except that it was a Uruguayan player using his hand that ultimately deprived Ghana of their God-given (according to Andy) victory.
  • “Soccer is a socialist sport.” This little turd was only made after the wonderful, wealthy, capitalist USA team were booted out of the tournament.
  • “Heathen Germany” imports Christian soccer stars to become the frontrunner to win the World Cup!! The two biggest stars on the German team were born in Poland and Brazil.” Wow. Just wow. So now we have “atheist” Britain AND “heathen” Germany. And a classic Andy stuff up. Arguably, Germany’s two biggest stars are Klose and Podolski, both of Polish descent. Cacao starts mostly from the bench, and hasn’t scored. And what about the Muslims Özil and Khedira?
  • Then he comments about the “wealthy” Dutch beating Uruguay and wonders where atheistic England are. He could also wonder where Brazil, Argentina, Italy, France, Australia, Serbia, Russia, etc, etc are. Oh yes, and where is the USA? Or are they atheistic socialists too?
  • He then has a dip at the Germans for claiming they are “proud of their ethic diversity”. I assume this has to do with his own racism regarding immigrants – legal or otherwise in the USA. Bonus points for Andy scoring a Godwin by alluding the German’s wanting a “master race.” He then goes on to say that the Germans have a good team, despite the fact that they ban home-schooling (in other words, Andy’s bitter because he wouldn’t be allowed to peddle his snake oil there). Oh yes, Germany did, of course, lose to Spain. Must be that pesky home-schooling that did it.
  • Finally, we get this on the mainpage: “The World Cup championship: Netherlands versus Spain.” With an aerial view of a stadium, shown below.

Now given that the edit comment reads “World Cup arena, where the Netherlands will play Spain for the championship” you’d think that Andy might have done a little bit of research. You see, the picture he added is clearly named “Royal Bafokeng Stadium”. Now given that Andy can’t tell between an “arena” and a “stadium”, it’s quite likely that they all look the same to him.

However, given that this stadium is in Rustenburg and hosted it’s last match on 26 June, one has to question just how trustworthy the “Trustworthy’ encyclopaedia is. I would have thought that somebody of Andy’s vast knowledge *ahem* would know that the final is at Soccer City, Johannesburg on July 11th.

Let’s see how long the Trustworthy encyclopaedia will keep this glaring error on their mainpage.

Oh yes, it’s probably mentioning that the two finalists are probably the most liberal country in Europe (Holland) versus a country that just introduced radical new abortion laws (Spain). I wonder how he’s going to spin this one? Probably just blame it on the socialists.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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