Ed! Get help! Please!


I know I’ve already raised the issue of Conservapedia sysop Ed Poor’s strange relationship with what is and what isn’t acceptable on a family friendly encyclopaedia. If you want to refresh your memory, they’re here and here. However, I can paraphrase as follows:

  • He objects to Jack the Ripper’s victims being referred to as prostitutes (which they were), replacing the word with ‘women’ and saying, “Don’t make it so lurid – I’ve got kids’ in the edit summary.
  • He deletes a picture of a cartoon character in a French maid’s outfit, claiming it’s “a little bit too sexy for a “family” site”
  • He deletes a picture of Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft, claiming it is “too slutty” and when questioned what he means by that, replies, “Voluptuous breasts and bulging vulva isn’t slutty?”
  • Pens a 2-line “essay” on “Immortality in America“, wherein he bemoans the fact that people are referred to as ‘sexy” rather than “handsome.”

Even with that last part, things are getting a bit weird. But on the whole, “Uncle” Ed  (as he likes to call himself on Wikipedia, and god knows where else) comes across as a fairly decent guy, with a pretty conservative outlook on what is acceptable on a “family” wiki. Except when his other side shines through.

The same man who finds “prostitutes” an unacceptable word for a bunch of Victorian trollops, has no problem adding the following to the “family” wiki:

  • A reference to “rimming” (as a wiki-link no less) to CP’s “article” on “Gay Bowel Syndrome”
  • Creates an article on “Bestiality” and just in case you don’t know what that means, creates a “sex with animals” redirect.
  • I think the “Voluptuous breasts and bulging vulva” deserve another mention, as only Ed would see that in a small, low quality picture of a video game’s cover.
  • On the subject of redirects, Ed helpfully creates the “hard-core pornography” redirect, as clearly users of CP are quite particular about the kind of porn they want to read about.
  • Feels the need to tell us that “adult” is commonly used as a euphemism for “pornographic”, and that with regards to liberal Internet companies (the link here is to Google only), it can be seen that they often promote ‘adult’ material, with the above premise that such vile material is acceptable if referred to by such a euphemism. Ed has clearly done his research here.

I’m not going to get into “Uncle” Ed’s fascination with young girls, suffice to say he refers to the daughter in “Fort Apache” as “doing nothing but wearing pretty clothing and pouting.” And the less said about his movie category, “Movies about fathers with 11-year-old daughters” the better.

Now I see he’s done it again. Not content with having an article on “fornication,” Ed feels the need to expand on the definition. As it stood, it was already laughable:

”’Fornication”’ is “sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other or, more broadly, sex other than with someone you can marry, as with incest.

Wow! CP doesn’t mince words. Not even girl- and boyfriends, or “the girl who got really drunk at my party” are examples of fornication. No – CP heads straight for incest.

But even that isn’t enough for Ed. Once again he wades in and adds “or bestiality” after “incest,” with the edit comment “hate to even mention this, but it happens.”

Ed, listen to me. Normal people don’t do things like that. Especially not on a “family” encyclopaedia. You are clearly not a well man, and I suggest you seek help before it’s too late. People like you do not have a fun time in prison.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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7 Responses to Ed! Get help! Please!

  1. Lily says:

    Ed’s always worthy of a laugh, but then he continually sets himself up for it. You obviously looked at RW’s entry on Ed Poor (and porn) but did you check out the Ed and young women section as I think that adds to the evidence for the creepy uncle’s condition.

    Keep up the good work Psy, love Lil.

    • cpmonitor says:

      Thanks Lil! Yeah, I think I added some of the stuff to the Ed & porn bit on RW. I’ll have a look at the other links there (forgot about them).
      The scary thing is that normally, I’d expect it from a parodist taking the piss of CP. But coming from somebody who bills himself as “Uncle” Ed, and who has alluded to teaching children on several occasions, the constant sexual – and strange sexual at that – comments he keeps making, makes me feel very uneasy.

  2. Ghost of Mr. Williams says:

    In the second paragraph, you wrote “ass” when I think you meant “adds”.

  3. Ghost of Mr. Williams says:

    Oh, and in the third paragraph, you have a sentence fragment.

  4. duckman says:

    So, I’ve got a related question.

    Is Ken DeMeyer… you know… special? He seems to be kind of lost in the world. And CP letting his subconscious run free might not be the best for him.

    • cpmonitor says:

      I’d say that Ken isn’t “normal” – but that’s an epitaph you could pin on any of the CP sysops. I’m not sure what Ken’s problem is, but his editing and debating styles are bizarre.
      Still, whatever is problems may or may not be, the fact that Andy et al allow him to carry on as he does makes CP an even bigger joke.
      Yet, if you look behind the scenes, the other sysops can’t stand him, but Andy keeps giving him credibility.

  5. Pi says:

    ”’Fornication”’ is “sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other or, more broadly, sex other than with someone you can marry, as with incest.

    I like how he says “more broadly” and the gives a more specific example.

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