If you’ve tried to visit Conservapedia recently, especially from a location outside the US of A, chances are you’ve been met by the notice above. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with your browser, or your connection – it simply means that Conservapedia’s administrators have blocked you from viewing their site at server levels. That’s right – not content with banning people from editing their little right-wing hate-blog, they’re now preventing people – especially all those nasty, liberal non-Americans – from even looking at the crap they publish.
Ok, so the actual reason is a bit more complex than that. It would appear as if our friends over at Conservapedia have been one of a number of site that have been under a Denial of Service attack (DoS). What this essentially means is that the host server is flooded with automated requests, which either slow it right down, or cause the server – and linked web pages – to crash.
There appear to be two groups behind the latest swathe of attacks – the first being hacker group Anonymous, who have launched a war on copyright and the other seeming to be extortionist attacks, originating from China. As with most things, those in the know tackle the problem and get on with their lives.
But not Conservapedia.
Oh no, first of all they have to massage their massive persecution complex, because – of course – this DoS attack is all about them. And it’s not a bunch of Oriental crooks trying to squeeze them for a dollar, nor is it Anon using CP to make a point. Oh no, as “senior” administrator Brian Macdonald, aka Karajou, puts it:
What this means to the average layman reading this is a DDoS attack is conducted by the liberal left when they are faced with an idea they don’t like; There are people who do not like conservatism; they do not like the morals and responsibility and accountability which is attached to conservatism. They cannot stand God, they cannot stand the Bible, and many of them are quick to dismiss “Jeebus” – as they call Jesus – as nothing more than a farce. And most of all they cannot stand anyone who would adhere to any of it. What they did to Conservapedia during the past 24 hours is very typical of their “philosophy”, which is to shut down any kind of speech they don’t like.
See what I mean about persecution complex? The entire machinery of the “liberal left” has been fired up to take down a two-bit backwater of a hate-blog, because you know, whenever somebody says “God”, we just have the urge to do so. How dare people interfere in our site. No doubt, there has been plenty of communication with the FBI over this “vandalism” to CP. Karajou, however, has to go one step further. The DoS attack isn’t because CP is a right-wing, fundie, loonie, Birther, hate-blog that liberals hate. Oh no, it’s because Karajou drew a pathetic, unfunny cartoon, mocking a professor that most people have never heard of. Now how’s that for a persecution complex??
However, Brian’s insecurities – as many as there are – aren’t the focus of this posting. It’s more about Conservapedia’s reaction to the DoS attack. You see, it’s safe to say that the actual combined PC knowledge of CP’s administrators could be written on a pinhead, with enough room left over for a good old Angel square-dance. At least they have enough gumption not to give Ed Poor bureaucrat rights and server access, no matter how many times “User 188” hints at his non-existent expertise.
Now I’m no IT boffin myself, but I’m pretty sure there must be easier ways to fend off a DoS attack than blocking half the world at server level. Otherwise, every time one happened, half the internet would suddenly be off-line. However, if there’s one thing CP’s administrators know how to do well – and are indeed praised for by Andrew Schlafly – it’s blocking. So what better way to fend off an attack by “liberals” than by blocking them? Schlafly has even gone as far as granting server-level access to the remaining admins in his inner circle (well Karajou and Jpatt anyway. I wouldn’t trust Ed Poor, Conservative or Rob Smith with an ice-cream cone, let alone a server) in order for them to make 403 range blocks.
As with all things Conservapedia, these are done to extremes, with not only large parts of the world in general and the USA in particular blocked from even reading the crap on Conservapedia, you can also bet that these aren’t blocks that will expire with in a day or two, one the attack has stopped. Oh no, especially if Karajou and Jpatt are involved. These two champions rarely block for anything less than 5 years and mostly for infinity.
Which means that the site that constantly cries about conservative thought being censored have effectively cut themselves off from most of the internet, with more likely to follow. So it’s somehow liberals’ fault that the people running Conservapedia, instead of having the brains to how how to run a site, can only draw the wagons into an ever-tighter laager. Got to love that persecution complex.
Just to prove that Andy Schlafly is a lying sack of shit, in the wake of the massive DoS attack and Conservapedia shutting itself off from the outside world, just how does Andrew Schlafly deal with the matter? Well, delusionally, it would appear, as he proclaims:
Conservapedia has broken its March record for the number of unique visitors
I know today’s April Fools, and I really wish I was joking. But sadly, I’m not. You may now commence beating your head on the desk.