Getting divorced? It’s the bitch’s fault.

I suppose I shouldn’t be too harsh on Andrew Schalfly and his distorted view of the world. After all, when you’ve been raised by a harridan who claims it’s ok for a husband to rape his wife (“By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don’t think you can call it rape”) it’s fairly understandable that you have a pretty confused outlook. Especially when said harridan of a mother preaches that feminism is evil and that all women should be at home, cooking meals and having babies… and then goes out working the lecture and book tours, just like some feminists…

Then again, we wouldn’t expect Andy to actually voice said inner conflicts, although his brother Roger opened the door a crack, when he described marital rape as a “communication problem” – no doubt based on the communication problems he heard coming from Mummy’s bedroom over the years.

In Andy’s case, it’s transformed into a raging misogyny (although there he’s in good company of fellow sysops like Ed Poor)  – starting with the fact that girls are inferior to boys when it comes to scholastic subjects and should thus sit different exams and worry more about baking cookies. From there we go on to the fact that women simply aren’t good enough for consideration for the Fields Maths medal (in fact, Andy was so outraged by this, he proposed his own “Conservamath Medal” – which would be awarded on merit – i.e. not to a woman. Fortunately, as with so many other things (but fortunately not the Conservative Bible and the Lenski Affair – for those provided many laughs), Andy’s CP-specific ADD kicked in, and this project was left to gather dust. Maybe somebody mentioned the prize money of C$15,000 … and Andy baulked at paying that.

Even Disney didn’t escape his ire, because the cartoon “The Princess and the Frog” dared to show that a woman could aspire to run a restaurant (let alone a Fortune 500 company) – instead of having children and home-schooling them.

Finally, we hear of the divorce of Arnie Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver – and in typical Schlafly style, he has to dance on the grave of their marriage. You see, Shriver is one of those evil, liberal Kennedys so it must be her fault. Andy – who most likely thinks that martial rape is ok – even offers some marital advice: ”Arnold, after the expected divorce, find yourself a conservative wife and you will never look back”.

Yousee, even if Arnie was a groping womaniser, how dare that big mouthed, liberal bitch actually take a stand against it, instead of being a good little conservative doormat. Funnily enough, Andy recommends that Arnie find himself a “conservative wife” – but seeing at the second best characteristic of a conservative is “fidelity in marriage and accountability” he might be out of luck.

So, yes, shame on Maria Shriver for daring to stand up to, and finally ditch her philandering ex-husband!

Because she should know that being a conservative means never saying “no” – or not accepting it, if you do hear her say it.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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