Dear Harold Camping


Family Radio's main page... the day after the "Rapture"

Well, as 99% of sane people knew all long, the 22nd of May has dawned and it seems as if we’re all still here. I wonder what’s going through Christian preacher Harold Camping’s mind right now. You know, the mad man who predicted the end of the world and the Rapture and had it all figured out, because it seems only he knows how to read the Bible properly. Bear in mind, he also predicted this in 1994… and nothing happened. Yet people still believe this bumbling fool.

You see it’s one thing to preach the end of the world, hell people have been doing it for centuries. It’s quite another to use the mass media – in the form of your own radio station – to do so. You’re already dealing with an audience who have an unhealthy belief in superstitions, and you prey on the only thing that gets them through the day… their faith. One has to give most followers of the Christian faith some credit, as they looked at the rantings of this 89-year-old and quite likely senile fool and went “What the fuck?”Well, being Christians, they wouldn’t have said that, but whatever passes for that in the Christian mind… possibly “Fornication!”

However, Harold Camping has some questions to answer. And not just the obvious “So now what?” ones that will get thrown at him. The man hasn’t been seen since before May 21st and seems to have gone into hiding. I can’t say I blame him. After all, what is he going to say to

  • The people who gave up their life savings to promote his special brand of bull-shit? Such as Robert Fitzpatrick, who not only is retired, but spent $140,000 on Doomsday adverts and was left asking, “I do not understand why… I do not understand why nothing has happened.” Yes, he was a gullible loon, but you preyed on that.
  • The people who quit their jobs, and sold their homes in preparation for the big day?
  • The man who was going going to put his pets to sleep, so they wouldn’t suffer through the tribulations?
  • The woman who allegedly murdered her child, so he wouldn’t be left behind?
  • Your followers, who must feel as if the bottom has fallen out of their world, and you are too cowardly to make an appearance to comfort them?

This is just another example of how the deeply religious are abused by those very people who are supposed to be working on God’s behalf. I’d like to think that a lot of people woke up this morning a bit more cynical; a bit less trusting and a lot more questioning of the bullshit some people would have them swallow. Sadly, I doubt this happened.

Camping is at best a senile, deluded, doddering old man, and at worst he’s evil, a fraud, a false prophet if you will, and if he or his organisation have benefited financially from this fiasco, then he needs to be brought to book. What will it take for people to realise that these evangelists care more about their wallets than your soul? There is some hope that apparently the Board of Family Radio want to have a “serious meeting with Camping.” Not that anything will come of it – the sheep never turn on the shepherd. He’ll feed the same bullshit he did after his 1994 prediction went bust and they’ll lap it up.

Sadly, it’ll all be put down to the usual bullshit excuse of “God was just testing our faith” and left at that. As and the late, great Bill Hicks once said, “Do you really want to worship a god who might be fucking with your mind?”

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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4 Responses to Dear Harold Camping

  1. d.devine says:

    Harold Camping should have named his so called church “The little wee Church of Gross Assumtion” what a pig.

  2. People need to know the word for themselves. We need to teach people to know and understand the word. This will make them to be free and not fall into this distracted illusion. Christ says no one knows the day or the hour. But a human who was misled stood up and contradict the words spoken by Christ. Harold you need to teach people the mind of God. The bible is not like other books that you take a calculator and calculate,the word is God Himself. Listen here; with five loaves of bread and two fishes He(Jesus) fed five thousands of people but the other day from seven loaves of bread with two fishes He(Jesus) fed four thousands, you see Harold you can not use calculator in the things of God.

  3. Dante says:

    I know this is way too late, but I’ve just as of late getting into this whole Conservapedia narrative and it’s really damn interesting. The reason I’m posting this is because of you mentioned the guy who wanted to put his pets to sleep. Well that guy was Bill Tinker, and he lived in my town, and due to the actions of me and many others, the pets were taken from his custody.

    Also, you probably know this by now, but the woman wasn’t successful in murdering her child.

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