Website down? God hates you!


Alexander Cornswalled is rapidly turning into one of my favourite Internet loonies – and not just because he too thinks Ed Poor is a complete douche-bag. He basically ticks all the right boxes when it comes to being an American, right-wing fundie – everything from birtherism, anti-abortion, to Trump for Prez, to vaccine hysteria. Like some other conservatives we know, he also has the habit of getting stuck in a rut and constantly slagging off the same old things.

Case in point this time is the Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe.

Now I admit – I’m a fan of SGU – I find them articulate, funny, able to describe complex things in terms a dummy like me can understand and they have a field day trashing the various crackpots and religious idiots out there. And Rebecca Watson wants to marry me and have my babies – she just doesn’t know it yet. Needless to say, they are anathema to anybody whose default position in life is “Goddidit.”

Unless, you’re Alex Cornswalled (like Hurlbut, doesn’t his name sound like something you could be arrested for in Minnesota?) of course – then you’re the Voice of Satan! No, really…. it seems he had to review SGU as part of his church’s “review of the media being consumed by the youth in theor congregation” – wow – don’t they just sound a barrel of laughs? (yay, crazy font time again!)

“The podcast is as anti-Christian as they come. Even if you set aside the wholesale endorsement of vaccination, their wholesale rejection of homeopathy, their complete lack of regard for anything supernatural and their unthinking acceptance of all things humanist there’s still their constant ridicule of Christ and his followers.

There is nothing redeemable in this podcast. It’s a propaganda mouthpiece for Satan and his followers. Despite their lock step service to Satan and the intellectual dishonesty of claiming to be skeptical while accepting the same beliefs as the rest of their peer group, I can’t help but feel sorry for these people. Despite everything these people are doing to drag souls to Hell, I can’t help but pity such lost, hopeless, pathetic creatures.”

Yes indeed – debunking such things as homeopathy is “dragging souls to hell.” Well, what would you expect from a vaccine denialist? Still, at least nobody can accuse our Alex of being an unbiased commentator. Imagine his unbridled glee then, when the Skeptiforums went down at the end of April, as they were switching service providers. You see, in what passes for Alex’s mind, this wasn’t a simple technical glitch… oh no… this was THE WRATH OF GOD!

You see, he saw the forums as “a hotbed of humanist activity. It had entire sections dedicated to religion, politics and even a special “Members Only” global warming portion of the site. Most tellingly they also had a “Members Only” section entitled “Explicit” where the few rules that applied to the rest of the site were lifted and pornography and profanity reigned supreme ” so naturally he was proud to be able to proclaim that “Another Mouth of Satan Silenced.” He also shows a complete lack of understanding when he says “Re-hosting the site elsewhere is unlikely. as the notice clearly spells out the site has been suspended pending deletion. The database of research and misinformation once hosted at the Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe Forum will itself go away with the web site.”

But wait, as they say in the classics, there’s more!

But wait, there’s even MORE reason to rejoice! Because most the members of this forums were hiding their real identities behind pseudonyms and aliases most of them don’t know each other in real life and lack the means to communicate outside of the forum. Not only has the central repository of misinformation been destroyed but its members have been scattered to the corners of the Earth, unable to resume their actions. Just as God scattered humanity when our ancestors dared attack God by building the Tower of Babel, he has scattered these humanists, leaving them alone and isolated, or at best operating in tiny cells, unconnected to one another, like some sort of headless humanist al-Qaeda.

Seriously? God spelled with an “h” in “he?” Must be slipping up there, Alex. Love the subtle linking of “humanists” to al-Qaeda” and the fact that God has scattered these filthy humanists across the Internet.

He’s back, a week later, claiming that the forums are still down and that an error message saying “Sorry, SMF was unable to connect to the database. This may be caused by the server being busy. Please try again later” appears when he tries to access the site. Of course, this could never be a simple server error. oh no – it’s propaganda from the people who run SGU. Not content with denying God and dragging souls off to hell, they’re now lying to their followers about the fact that the forums are back on-line. Our favourite little wing-nut concludes by saying

It seems that the very databases that power the Internet have rejected both the Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe and the Distorted View podcast. Will the parties behind either site see God’s obvious message in these events?

Well, as I write this, it would appear as if both the SGU forums and Distorted View, are up and running. I’m guessing that God’s obvious message is that She approves?

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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4 Responses to Website down? God hates you!

  1. WWWWolf says:

    > It seems that the very databases that power the Internet have rejected both the Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe and the Distorted View podcast.

    Ummmmmm… mr. Cornswalled, what do you think a mysterious thing called “database” might do? Be not confounded, oh man who knowest not the art of the Technogeeks, for we who are one with the art shall enlighten you!

    Two things must you know about the database; the number of things you must know about them is two. First, it is a base. Second, *it has the data.*

    Now carry on with thy argument. Carry on!

  2. Cam says:

    Poe. I read the blog, no way this guy is for real.

    • PsyGremlin says:

      I’d like to believe you, but if he is, then he’s been going about it for about as long, and as diligently as Ken Demyer. You can track him back to at least 2007 on Goggle and the man has podcasts too.

      It would be nice to think that this kind of wing-nut insanity is a poe, but sadly, I don’t think so.

      • Norseman says:

        Best way to tell a Poe is the evidence left behind. He doesn’t seem to censor comments, or delete his erroneous entries, leaving them up for all to read. Internet Porn Death Watch… I mean, come on.

        Either way, his site is awesome lulz material. Much better than trolling Yahoo Answers R/S, for sure.

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