Andrew Schlafly: Douche-bag


Every time I think Andrew Schlafly couldn’t possibly be a bigger cunt, he goes and proves me wrong. Not that I’m complaining, of course, but the man’s capacity to be an utter douche-bag is seemingly limitless. We already know him to be a rampant misogynist and rabid Obama hater, coupled with possessing a hatred of science that borders on Dark Ages superstition. However, it’s when he starts adopting the insane and inane dribblings of his fellow Conservapedia thugs for his own emissions, that he comes across as being a truly pathetic, vindictive little hater.

In this case, the dribblings are of one Ken Demyer, aka user:Conservative – the semi-literate, obsessive-compulsive man-child. The man behind the flying kitties, Richard Dawkins lacking machismo and Spanish ladies, cute ponies beating atheists, deleting entire talk-pages in order to deceitfully hide his latest gaffe… and the latest “So what? Atheists are fat! Har! Har!” debating style. That Schlafly keeps him around is bad enough – surely he must have realised by now that for all Ken’s boasting about getting Andy’s articles up the Google rankings, it’s not going to happen. That Schlafly allows Ken to keep crapping on his blog with impunity – constantly spamming his insane “essays” on the main page, as well as in main space articles – and hasn’t taken him in hand (so to speak), is worse and a good indication of just how badly Schlafly sucks at being a manager.

However, when Schlafly actually starts parroting the drivel Ken spouts, then you really have to wonder.

Now I’ve already mentioned Ken’s obsessive-compulsive behaviour and the fact that once his minuscule brain latches on to something, there isn’t any room for new ideas. His latest ploy around the “people I don’t like are fat” meme is to look at members of Obama’s administration who are over-weight and to make subtle jabs at Michelle Obama’s healthy eating initiative. Still, Ken’s in good company there – after all, when Michelle said breast feeding was a good thing, who other than Sarah Palin came out and said it wasn’t.

However, it takes Andrew Schlafly to put his own special twist of hatred and bile on Ken’s pathetic utterances. You see, Obama has appointed Katherine Archuleta as his political director for 2012. Now Ms. Archuleta is no newbie – she’s Chief of Staff over at the Department of Labour and has many years of government service under her belt. Not that that matters, of course. She’s the enemy – which in Schlafly’s twisted little mind means she must be insulted at all costs.

Problem is, Schlafly either doesn’t have the mental agility to attack her on her record, or he’s just too damn lazy to do any research. Instead, he channels the dribbling man-child and posts the following to Conservapedia’s main page:

Barack Hussein Obama names Katherine Archuleta, an overweight woman, as his political director. The White House has not commented on whether Michelle Obama will work with Ms. Archuleta concerning her weight.

I wish I could say that that was bad enough – the unrelated reference to her weight; the jab at Michelle’s praise-worthy initiative – but of course it isn’t. That’s the edited version – after even Andy might have realised that he was coming across as a bit of a cunt. Here’s the full version Schlafly originally posted:

Barack Hussein Obama names Katherine Archuleta, an overweight woman, as his political director. The White House has not commented on whether Michelle Obama will work with Ms. Archuleta concerning her weight. If Obama wanted to court the hispanic (sic) vote for his 2012 election campaign, couldn’t he find a Latino with more machismo? (my emphasis)

It seems fact is indeed stranger than fiction, because if I wanted to make somebody look like a first-class cunt, I couldn’t make something like this up. You need the twisted, bitter world-view of Andrew Schlafly to come up with stuff like this.

And yet Schalfly and his cronies still wonder why mainstream conservatives avoid his little hate-blog.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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