Those Great Conservatives – The Village People

I’ve spoken before – and no doubt will speak again, many times – about the hilarity that ensues when Conservapedia founder and racist bigot Andrew Schlafly leaps in to defend some bizarre notion on his blog, usually without engaging his brain first.

Case in point is his “Greatest Conservative Songs” essay. As with most things, Schlafly went about the completely subjective and uninformed selection of certain songs as expressing conservative views – because as you should know by now, everything can be classified as either conservative or liberal in Andy’s world. Needless to say, bar one or two exceptions, it’s a list upon which Rebecca Black’s “Friday” would not only be at home, but be one of the better tracks to listen to.

Conservatives - dead butch!

Anyway, as usual, Schlafly’s ADD kicked in and he moved on to other equally short-lived “insights” – leaving the playing field open for the battery of parodists who now inhabit Conservapedia to have some fun. One such wag adds The Village People’s “YMCA” to the list. That’s right – “YMCA”. By The Village People… you know… these guys alongside. Now that’s all very well and fine – parodists add weird stuff to Conservapedia all time – although it’s often not as weird as the stuff Schlafly and his hand-picked goons add.

Still, it’s there on Conservapedia, and the editor (who only made 3 edits, then vanished) remains unblocked. Needless to say, somebody eventually noticed and brought the matter up on the talk page, asking “I’d always heard that the Village People’s YMCA was about homosexual men seducing other men? That doesn’t sound very conservative to me. Is this just a rumor?”

In jumps Andy, who either has no idea what the song is about, besides it’s title, or is oblivious to such terms as “innuendo” and “double entendre.” Clearly, he just sees “YMCA” and thinks it must be a good, clean song about the YMCA:

Nope – the song is a legitimate tribute to the Young Men’s Christian Association.

And yes, in a way it is – if you want to pay tribute to a place that has a reputation as a cruising and pick-up spot for young gay men. I mean, if Debbie Boone had sung the song, then yes, maybe I could see Andy’s point, but The Village People?? The masters of innuendo? Come on! You have to remember that this came out in the 70s, where no matter how bad the fashion and hair was, you still couldn’t openly say you were gay. Hell, even Liberace and Elton John were “straight” in the 70s. So the chances of a song actually about getting picked up at the Y doing well, were practically zero. But add a little innuendo and a disco beat… boom! Conservative masterpiece.

When somebody quite rightly says, “WTF?” Schlafly happily takes it one step further:

The song is a good faith tribute and attempts to redefine are not factual.

Let’s have a gander at some of the lyrics (please supply your own “nudge-nudge-wink-winks)

You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.

And if you still have any lingering doubts… here’s the song from the “Can’t Stop the Music” Village People movie. Now, let me hear you say “homoeroticism”.

And finally, I have to say that there aren’t many conservative songs that you can blaspheme so spectacularly to:

Oh… and finally, finally. Just to prove that we don’t make this up… the “essay” also lists The Village People’s “In the Navy” as a song that “honors the brave men of the US Navy.”

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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9 Responses to Those Great Conservatives – The Village People

  1. This is why parodists are pretty much redundant there.

  2. WWWWolf says:

    > it’s a list upon which Rebecca Black’s “Friday” would not only be at home, but be one of the better tracks to listen to.

    Why yes! Even without looking at the content of the song, you can easily see that it is a song that become a great commercial success, without bothering itself with liberal claptrap like “quality”, “artistic merit” or “positive popularity”. As far as the content itself goes, it is about a young girl who is obviously *not* thinking of the lies she’s being fed in the public schools and can’t *wait* to get the hell out of that hell. Plus, Ed Poor probably likes the song.

  3. Anthony says:

    1. “say that three aren’t” little error there
    2. i did not know it was possible to face palm and laugh at the same time. i hope andy leaves it there till he is defending his shit on tv and this gets thrown in his face for the whole world to enjoy.

    3. i think the best outcome would be for a village people imitation band performs it in front of him on tv so we can see him literally deflate. i have always wanted to see what he looks like when he realizes he got fucked this hard

  4. Pi says:

    What is homoerotic about that clip? I am sure I saw a brief flash of boobs at one point.

  5. Black Pelican says:

    Oooooh I just imagined Schlafly as the indian, Terry as the cop, Brian as the sailor, Ken as the leather-clad guy, Ed Poor as the cowboy and Joaquin as the biker.

    • PsyGremlin says:

      Nah, I see Ed as the leather bloke. Also, there’s 2 black guys in TVP… and CP is lily white. Schlafly and Terry would probably be more offended that you’re comparing them to blacks than to gay men…

      • Reckless Noise Symphony says:

        Joaquín Martínez would probably be a good shoe-in as one of the black guys in the Village People, being as he is the token minority at CONservapedia and there’s a good chance that Andy and the rest wouldn’t notice the difference.

  6. Reckless Noise Symphony says:

    Wait! YMCA is a good, wholesome Christian song….. So then, when the Village People played this at Minneapolis’ Twin Cities PRIDEFEST last summer, and they even acted out some of the innuendo during the song (kinda disgusting if you ask me, because I could see their wrinkles from 500 feet away), they were really telling me and the audience to be good, wholesome Christians and join the YMCA??? I’ll have to inform my gay friends who were there with me…..

    • PsyGremlin says:

      There ought to be a law preventing people over a certain age from performing. I had to take my mum to watch Tom Jones (don’t say a word… don’t say a fucking word) and it was cringe-worthy watching a 70-year old gyrate on stage.

      However, not as cringe-worthy as my 70-year-old mum throwing her bloomers on stage…

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