Dear Andrew Schalfly: Weather =/= Climate

I’ve spoken before about just how Conservapedia founder and racist bigot Andrew Schlafly has absolutely no idea about the actual mechanics of climate change / global warming. As I have already mentioned, he is incapable of seeing the following correlation:

Warmer oceans = increased evaporation = increased precipitation; this coupled with warmer temperatures results in higher snowfalls – something that was patently obvious across the Northern Hemisphere this winter. In addition, the increased cloud cover would result in less of the sun’s heat filtering through, with resulting cooler temperatures. Once again, this was something Schlafly couldn’t quite grasp. In addition, more snow, combined with warmer weather, would result in a far more water flowing into the rivers as a result of melting… and guess what – floods. Something else that has ravaged the U.S. and China this year. Oh and remember what I said about increased evaporation equalling increased rainfall? Well how about a month’s rain in a weekend? But you’d be a baby-eating, Bible-burning, commie-loving liberal to dare suggest that this might be signs of climate change.

You see, as with all things Schlafly, global warming / climate change is just another in the long list of Things Liberals Love. The double sad thing is, however, the fact that Schlafly is against global warming purely because it’s the wing-nut conservative thing to be. He actually has no clue as to the actual mechanics behind climate change, as can be seen from the fact that the man – who, let me remind you, has degrees from both Colombia and Harvard – cannot tell the difference between “climate” and “weather.” Add to that the fact that he’s fixated on the “global warming” terminology, and a hatred for Al Gore that’s only exceeded by his hatred of Obama, and you have a recipe for rank stupidity. Which is nothing new when dealing with Schlafly.

All winter, we were entertained by Schlafly posting such chestnuts as:

  • Atlanta will see its “first white Christmas since the Chester Arthur administration” in 1882. Global warming???
  • The first full week of December was the coldest on record for the period from Dec. 3 through Dec. 10” in North Carolina.  How much harm will be caused by liberals falsely pretending that there is global warming?
  • Get this from the liberal Science News: “Global Warming Could Cool Down Northern Temperatures in Winter.”  Translation: it’s getting cooler, so claim that is due to global warming too!

His shining moment was when he claimed

“PhineasR”, snowfall is correlated with cold weather, and much snowfall is a counterexample to the liberal claim of dangerous global warming.  Here we observe events and data with an open mind.

Clearly, Andy is unaware that it’s actually an increase in temperature that promotes snowfall. Then again, coming from a man who thinks that Obama is a Muslim because Schlafly hasn’t seen him dance, we really shouldn’t be surprised. It’s also worth noting the sneering use of sarcastic quotation marks on the user’s name. Schlafly insists people sign up using their real names (possibly in contravention of the COPPA Act) and then doesn’t seem to believe that’s their names. Then again, when his own hand-picked thugs ignore the rule and go by Karajou and Conservative, what would you expect?

But I digress (must stop doing that!), we were talking about Schlafly insistence that because the weather was cold somewhere for a few days, climate change was false. Or in terms a conservative can understand: How can there be global warming, if it’s cold? Of course, when you have record high temperatures, there’s no sign of Schlafly – higher temperatures are a bit harder to dismiss, so in his little world, if he doesn’t write about it, then it didn’t happen.

But he’ll grasp at any straw to prove that cooler temperatures are a sign that “global warming” isn’t happening. And when I say “any straw” I mean any straw. Take the following headline from Conservapedia’s “news” column on the main page:

Cool summer temperatures again disprove global warming: “Our temperatures are running over 30 degrees below average for this time of the year.”  One almost feels sorry for the liberals who lied about this issue.

Now even as somebody who follows the Celsius scale (you know, the logical one that runs from 0 to 100?) a 30° change in temperature sounds like a lot… so I had to click the accompanying news link. And this is where I found out that Schlafly – once again – is a lying sack of shit.

You see, the temperature difference (which for my fellow Celsius users is between approx 32° and 17° – we’re talking about going from swimming in the pool, to putting a jersey ona long-term change of that magnitude would be making the front pages) is for one day, and is as the result of an unseasonal storm… but wait… isn’t unseasonal weather a sign of climate change? In fact, here’s the whole quote, sans Schlafly’s quote mining:

An unseasonably cold storm is moving through the Northstate giving us rain showers and cool temperatures. So far most of us in the valley have picked up between a half of an inch to three quarters of an inch of rain with a few localized areas picking up over an inch. Our temperatures are running over 30 degrees below average for this time of the year making for a cool day in the low 60’s.

That’s it. Chico, CA is shivering at 17C, instead of 32C, for a few days, because of an unseasonal storm.

So a few days of bad weather, is yet more proof to Schlafly that the climate isn’t changing. Let’s hear it for the poster boy for Ivy League fuckwits who needs instructions to keep breathing. As I’ve said before, he’ll still be in denial as the glaciers come through his front door.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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One Response to Dear Andrew Schalfly: Weather =/= Climate

  1. Totnesmartin says:

    “But I digress (must stop doing that!)”… but it’s *fun!*

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