Red Dwarfs and Mental Midgets


I’m annoyed.

For two reasons really… well, three if you count the fact they seem to have killed Jessica in True Blood… yes, I have a thing for feisty, undead redheads, but that’s not a topic for public consumption.

Firstly, I’m annoyed because whilst running a simple search for one of my favourite British comedy shows, I came across the unfortunately named Robert Mock (and I’ll try not to… but if he’s the same Robert Mock of the Olde English “Babydoll” Registry, my head might just explode) and his little nest of insanity, Destination Yisra’el, and ended up wasting a few hours wading through his drek… including the wonderfully named “The Approaching Red Dwarf Twin Star sends Planet Earth Rocking and Reeling out of Control” article. I mean, you see something like that and you just have to read it right, even while hating yourself for doing so.

The other is because for some inexplicable reason, crazy people on the Internet feel the urge to make their websites as unreadable as possible. A prime example of this is the fantastically insane Gene Ray’s Timecube, whose opening lines now boldly state, “TimeCube Math Is Absolute Proof… You Are Retarded” and it all goes downhill from there.

Mock is another such person who, whilst not mangling the English language, feels the need to highlight every second word he writes. Here’s an example from his article on the Norwegian massacre:

Hamas’ Khalid Amayreh – “Gloating over the recent killings in Norway of dozens of innocent people at the hands of an Israel-inspired Christian Zionist terrorist, Glenn Beck, the American right-wing talk show host, compared the victims of the shooting at a Norwegian summer camp to Hitler Youth in his radio program on Monday, according to a Daily Telegraph report.

Don’t worry, I have no idea what he’s trying to say in that introduction either. He goes on to have a full tilt at Beck and his “Christian Zionists”, which he calls “the new Nazi beast”… sorry “the new Nazi beast” and without pausing for breath launches into an attack on Jewish Zionists. I think I’ll have to return to that particular clusterfuck at a later date, but first I want to find out about Robert Mock and this mysterious red dwarf.

From his whois, I’m actually still none the wiser. I’d guess by the name that he’s Jewish, or of Jewish descent, although given as how he rails against Christian and Jewish Zionists, I’m not sure. He lists his interests as: “Exploring our Hebrew-Jewish Roots, Tracking the Imminent Arrival of the Messiah of Israel, Genealogy into Ancient Roots, History of the Hebrew Nazarene Ecclesia (Jerusalem Church), Searching for the Lost Tribes of the House of Israel, Monitoring the Cascading Prophetic River at the Time of the End, Searching for God’s Destiny for our Lives” which seems to indicate he’s a Messianic Jew, but it’s actually hard to say, without inflicting more of his writings on myself.

Let’s get back to the Red Dwarf.

Mock starts off in typical – although slightly more lucid fashion:

As we begin to watch the intricate details of the future catastrophic events that will herald the coming of the Messiah, we begin to watch the end times modeling of the Hebrew prophets to gain a greater comprehension of what will happen in those days.

This isn’t anything new really, there’s probably dozens of End of Days prophets out there, including Harold “Ahem! We’re still waiting!” Camping, who go through the various prophets and the Book of Revelation, looking for signs and portents of the end times.  As with all of these other cranks, Mock comes across just as vaguely: “that day that could begin arriving in the next 12-24 months.” Nothing like giving yourself a 12-month window of opportunity and then still throwing in the word “could” – always handy to have an escape hatch when predicting the end of the world.

But what on Earth – so to speak – will be causing this cataclysm that’s already showing us it’s first rumblings? Mock starts out in an earlier post explaining about solar storms and how in August 2010 there had been a “huge explosion on the sun that included the entire visible hemisphere of the sun. ” It’s funny, but despite warnings of a “solar tsunami”, I honestly can’t remember anything about this. Still, something must have caused this, as well as all the volcanoes and earthquakes, right? Let’s read a bit further…

Oh dear.

I suppose it’s my fault for live-blogging this, as I forced myself to read his fevered posts.

we have been witnessing to the effects of a significant geo-magnetic stellar force field that is affecting our earth besides the geo-magnetic forces from our solar sun.  It is believed by many researchers, that the scientific evidence that we have been able to analyze so far suggests the this stellar geo-magnetic force field is actually our Sun’s twin star called a Dark Red Dwarf Non-luminous Sun.

I’m sorry? Many researchers? Plugging the phrase “Dark Red Dwarf Non-luminous Sun” (unbolded) in Google came up with… 3 matches – two of which are to the Destination Yisra’el site and the third to space.about.com, which talks about “Nemesis” – our Sun’s evil twin brother, so to speak. Actually, it’s quite a fun article, have a read of it sometime.

Now, I really don’t know what it is with crazy people – and yes, by now I’m lumping Mock in with the internet crazies. If you’d stuck with the Nemesis theory he would have beenn doing ok – and, fair play, would have been in some interesting scientific company – even if most of that company wears their underpants on their heads. But no – the internet crazy person always goes that one step too many, as does our friend Mock.

You see, it’s not just Nemesis… it’s Planet X, better known as Nibiru, that’s coming to finish us off, or as Mock would say it, “The ancient Sumerians called this “twin star”, Nibiru. As our Sun’s twin, this “twin star” we believe is today returning to rendesvoux with our solar system. ” This is, of course, the mythical planet of Babylonian (not Sumerian – good grief, at least get the mythology you base your crackpot beliefs on right!) legend, that’s supposed to be heading our way round about now (it’s on a 3,600 year orbit, you see). The one big problem I have with this, is that according to the Babylonians, Nibiru is both a watery planet, and home to the gods… which sounds a bit different to a red dwarf. And they should now – they were around the last Nibiru allegedly hove into view.

And it took me an hour to wade through his incompehensibe text to reach that stunning conclusion.

No wonder I’m annoyed.

I don’t even feel like laughing at Rimmer.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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2 Responses to Red Dwarfs and Mental Midgets

  1. boraxo bilgewater says:

    thanks for the spoiler mate….we wait until true blood comes on dvd. cant afford hbo ya’ know. but other than that great blog

    • PsyGremlin says:

      Eep! Sorry! Don’t worry, I’m sure she survives (and if it makes you feel any better, I download my TB 🙂 )

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