You can’t win against rank stupidity

So, Hurricane Irene is bearing down on New York – the first hurricane to make landfall in that area since Bertha in 1996. It seems to have fizzled out into a category 1 storm, but rather than face a crisis the authorities ordered an evacuation, especially of low-lying areas.

You would think this would be a good thing.

Not for racist bigot and Conservapedia founder Andrew Schlafly, however. It’s a well-documented fact that he loves dancing on other people’s graves and no doubt, he’s praying for some sort of disaster to befall New York, so he rant about the uselessness of his old HLR nemesis, Obama. Fortunately, it seems as if the authorities have learned from the cluster-fuck that was Katrina, even though Irene will be nowhere near as bad.

It was Andy’s first take on this subject that caught my eye, and had me thinking that more was in the offing:

More than 400,000 people are ordered to evacuate Long Island, with government officials citing Hurricane Irene as the reason. The last train leaving Long Beach will be 12:26 p.m, and then government transit shuts down for the weekend.

It was his line about “government officials citing Hurricane Irene as the reason” that caught my eye. You almost get the impression that Schlafly thinks that the hurricane is just a cover for something else – maybe they’re being packed off to FEMA concentration camps. I’m guessing that he’s unhappy that government officials are conducting the evacuation – after all, this is a man who believes in the “best of the public” and that government should stay the hell out of your life… unless it comes to what you watch and read, what you teach your children and what you do in the bedroom. Then Andy is all in favour of government intervention… as long as said intervention agrees with his own twisted world-view, of course.

It doesn’t take long for this twisted world-view to slither into view. By his next update, Schlafly is already railing against the emergency measures.

Not a drop of rain has fallen in NYC and northern NJ, but liberals have already disrupted the lives of millions by withholding essential government services like transportation”’. ”Where’s the refund for the paid-for services that are not being provided???”

Notice how “government” has suddenly become “liberals”. The man is incapable of keeping his own petty biases and political hatred out of simple news stories. Then again, he does like to quote that noted conservative, George Orwell (ahem!) and say that “All things are political.” In Schlafly’s case, they’re also beyond his grasp. He he displays – to go with his ignorance of physics and climate change – a complete lack of understanding about emergency procedures. A deluge is about to fall from the sky and he can’t see why subway trains aren’t running.

However, it’s Schlafly’s final word on the matter – written no doubt before he scurried to his own shelter – that clearly indicates what kind of a person he is.

Most New Yorkers — who vote Democratic — would rather risk injury from Hurricane Irene than go to a government-run evacuation center.

That’s right. The man who was decrying the evacuation procedure, is now decrying those who heeded his advice (ok, not really, but you know what I mean) and stayed behind. Once again the malignant little pustule can’t keep his political bias out either. Oh no! It’s stupid Democrats who are staying behind.

It just goes to show – you can’t win when faced with a drooling moron. If authorities had nothing, expecting the hurricane to fall off to a tropical storm (which it appears to have done), Schlafly would have been screaming about that. I bet he’s really annoyed that he doesn’t have a few hundred deaths to crow over.


Here’s a wonderful bit of deceit from Schlafly. It seems as if Irene has been downgraded to tropical storm level – which is perfectly normaln for a hurricane once it’s moved away from the warmer seas of the Gulf and Caribbean. The same has happened to every single hurricane ever. In this case, however, Schlafly renames the article “Tropical Storm Irene” and changed the introduction to read:

Tropical Storm Irene, formerly Hurricane Irene, was initially a Category 2 storm having maximum sustained winds of 110 mph (as of Friday morning, August 26, 2011) before losing intensity as it moved up the East Coast from North Carolina up through New York City.

Now that is just stupid. Nobody talks about “Tropical Storm Katrina” or “Tropical Storm Frances” – they might if that’s as strong as they ever get, but once they reach hurricane status, they’re known as hurricanes. End of story. Unless you’re really stupid, or a dishonest skunk, or in Schlafly’s case both. Suddenly he’s crowing on the main page again:

Now it is only Tropical Storm Irene, as it lost intensity before reaching New York City. Liberal politicians Michael Bloomberg and Andrew Cuomo can try to explain now why they shut down mass transit for 8 million people, in unprecedented fashion, nearly 24 hours before a mere tropical storm reached the area.

A “mere tropical storm”? Way to go, you dishonest douchebag.

Then again, if you had any doubts about what kind of people you’re dealing with, here’s a closing comment from sysop Brian Macdonald:

A demand that the subway system be used as much as possible to the very last minute to get as many people out of harm’s way as possible?  You call that a cheap politcal point?  That happens to be a conservative position, which is a far cry from what liberalism demands.  Liberalism is what happened in New Orleans when Katrina hit, so why should we allow it to happen again in New York City?

Pure class, all of them.

Update 2

In a move designed to (hopefully) provoke some hysterical bullshit from Schlafly and his goons, a user suggests that as Hurricanes Gustav and Katrina were both eventually downgraded to tropical storm status, their articles should be renamed too.

I do so love it when Schlafly’s ignorance comes back to bite him.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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One Response to You can’t win against rank stupidity

  1. Norseman says:

    *slow clap*

    I mean, not even parodists can champion this kind of circle-jerk ideology.

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