It’s winter! Therefore global warming is a lie!!

Ah, fun season! Winter is upon us… well, in the northern hemisphere anyway… and it’s another chance for Conservapedia founder and racist bigot Andrew Schlafly to show the world that he is utterly clueless and a complete moron when it comes to climate change.

Now, I have no problem if people want to be climate denialists, as long as they do it on scientific grounds. Sadly, Schlafly’s arguments border along the lines of “It snowed in winter, therefore global warming is a hoax” – usually accompanied by some childish dig at liberals, scientists, or both. The term is probably interchangeable in what passes for Schlafly’s mind. Likewise, his response to the heat wave that sizzled the US this past summer was, “It’s summer. It’s supposed to be warm.” I’d like to think that if Schlafly spouts these truisms at dinner parties (yeah, right, like he ever gets invited to any!), people pause mid-bite of their canapés, cough politely and change the topic, before hurrying off to saner pastures.

I have a feeling that Schlafly goes this route, because he’s too lazy to come up with a sensible answer. After all, climate science is pretty complicated stuff, and we’re talking about a man too lazy to mark more than three or four sentences, written by the children he mentally abuses in a church basement. Even somebody as monumentally dim as Schlafly honestly can’t believe that “it’s cold, therefore the climate isn’t changing” is a viable argument.Then again, he did use the fact that Orange County was unseasonably cool as another proof that global warming in bunkum.

And that’s the strange thing – Schlafly has no problem using words like “unusual”, “record”, “unexpected”, “rare” to highlight his point, without once wondering just why these events are “unusual”, “record”, “unexpected” and “rare”. It really is a strange little world in which Schlafly moves. I’ll highlight all such words in the examples below and in days to come.

So, that said, I’m going to use this winter of Schlafly’s discontent to document his every inane utterance about “it’s cold, ergo…” Let’s see just how much stupidity the man can roll out.

  • Liberal global warming? Central Park is expected to receive the most snow before Halloween in its history.
  • “Wintery mix dumps record snow on New York.” Where’s the phony global warming that liberals have been yipping about?
  • What says all those liberal “scientists” who insisted there was a crisis of global warming? “Rare October snow cuts power to thousands in Pa.”
  • Energy rationing by liberals is great, isn’t it? “Over 2 million without power as snowstorm slams Northeast, Mid-Atlantic.”

That last one is a classic Schlafly-ism. Early snow, landing on trees which have not yet lost their leaves, brings down more branches, resulting in broken cables and power cuts. And yet somehow in what passes for his mind, this is “liberals” “rationing energy.” It must be awful to live in a world where liberals are waiting around every corner, ready to suck your blood. What a bitter little man he is.

Watch this space, I’m going to be making periodic updates of this stupidity.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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3 Responses to It’s winter! Therefore global warming is a lie!!

  1. Pi says:

    I was going to make a post about this as soon as I saw some other than just Schlafly say this.

    There is significant overlap between global warming deniers and young Earth creationists but last year Answers Research Journal published three papers:
    which required ridiculously high sea temperatures in order for glaciation to take place in a few hundred years, the average temperature of the Pacific ocean being 15 degrees centigrade high.

    So do warmer oceans increase precipitation or not? I wish they would get their story straight on this one.

    • PsyGremlin says:

      That’s the problem with creation science – because it’s not built on sound scientific principles, but rather “what crackpot theory somebody has come up with today after reading the Bible and hating evolution.” It’s a jumbled mishmash of often conflicting theories. Even worse, these theories don’t replace the older theories with which they conflict, but stand alongside them, to be hauled out whenever suitable. Thus we end up with the laughable situation where Flood geology is refuted by Flood geology. (

  2. WWWWolf says:

    Oulu, Finland. +4℃. Sorta foggy and rainy lately, no sight of snow yet. And it’s November 4th, goddamn it. *Obviously,* by Andy’s standards, global warming *must* be true. If there’s no snow this late in the year this far up north, the world’s got to be out of whack. =)

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