In a commitment to blog more often, every Sunday (my time) I will present you dear readers with a round-up of the stupid, the inane, and the ridiculous at WorldNetDaily. This will save you, the reader, from subjecting yourself to it, and give me, the author, an excuse to write shorter commentaries.
The crazy on WorldNetDaily kicked off Monday with Chuck Norris concerned about arsenic in apple juice. You know the element arsenic, a compound of which is found naturally in apple seeds? Chuck seems to bemoan the fact that from a sample of 88 different brands of apple and grape juice, 10% would not pass the EPA’s 10 parts per billion it set for tap water, a regulation that George W. Bush suspended. From 1942 to 2006, USians drank tap water at a level capped at 50ppb, and strangely, they managed to live. I would gladly drink half a gallon a day of the juice with the highest arsenic concentration in that sample. But the question remains, does Chuck actually want the EPA to step in and regulate apple juice? I thought he was against all Fed interference. Consistency?
Not to be out done, lesser noted columnist Jerry McGlothlin says that Michele Buchmann will surge back and become the Republican nominee because the bible predicts it.
This was actually posted last week but I only noticed it on the Monday. Country singer (I am guessing from the stupid hat) Steve Vaus is giving people the opportunity to buy tickets for soldiers to see his carols performance. That is right, he is not giving soldiers tickets, he is getting other people to buy tickets for them. He still gets money (they are reduced by half, the generous guy). Why not just put on a free performance at a local base? Oh right, that would come at his expense. If you want to thank a soldier, buy them a beer instead.
Farah turns around and bites the hand that once fed him, attacking Richard Mellon Scaife. Along with once paying Farah to run his newspaper the Sacramento Union into the ground, in his post newspaper days at the Western Journalism Center Farah received $100,000 in funding from Scaife’s Carthage Foundation to run 50 full-page adverts in various newspapers publishing Christopher W. Ruddy’s allegations about Clinton’s involvement in the death of Vince Foster. Farah’s WJC received in total about $330,000 from Scaife in a three-year period. Why the change of heart? Scaife and Ruddy are behind WND’s main right-wing online rival NewsMax. So the guy that paid Farah to spread innuendo about Clinton bumping off his friends is now in bed with Clinton? Nice work Farah.
Donald Trump was back on the main page wanting to see a record that Obama’s mother was in hospital. But it was nice to see that about 25% of WND’s readers think he is full of shit and just trying to get attention.
Rush’s younger brother is showing he is every bit connected with reality as his more famous sibling post hoc slapping together an argument that Obama is Big Brother.
Michele Buchmann’s campaign is going so badly people are being asked to pray for her:
“Jesus detailed the many dangers that lie ahead for those who defend their faith and dare stand publicly for Godly principles,” writes the site’s administrator. “And, as sobering as these words from the Bible may be, Michele Bachmann has willingly stepped out, as an openly God-fearing ‘constitutional conservative,’ into rough, often violent waters on behalf of those who agree that this country’s only way forward is to humbly return to the Godly principles that our founders established this country upon.
“And now, this is our opportunity to come along side Ms. Bachmann in absolute committed prayer and support of her calling to lead this nation back to its foundation in Almighty God,” the site concludes.
Return to those Godly principles like slavery and not being allowing women to run for office?
If you like bad acting and strawperson characters, WND has a new drama series Red Elephant’s Cafe (totally non-partisan). It is up to episode four already, so now is time to catch up.
Ken DeMyer of Conservapedia fame appeared to have taken over WND with bestiality being the hot topic. PETA received non-negative press from WND as it gave them a chance to bash Press Secretary Jim Carney. Bachmann got a chance to squawk to Glenn Beck about it. The sudden interest is brought on by the repeal of Uniform Code of Military Justice Article. 125. SODOMY, which is a pretty ridiculous rule as it prohibits the general and nondescript “unnatural carnal copulation” – even between two people of different genders. Depending on your definition of “unnatural carnal copulation” you (a male you that is) could be court marshalled because some young lady gave you blowjob or because a guy went down on you (a female you that is). The UCMJ confuses me in general, for example Article. 124. MAIMING. You are in the army, you are supposed to maim people, it is your job.
Farah meanwhile has been struck down with fatwa envy. He is awarded a gold star for claiming that the Council for Islamic-American Relations “is on television virtually every day claiming anti-Muslim bigotry where none exists”, whilst whining about how oppressed Christians are in the US.
Crazy of the day goes to Pamela Geller (who am I kidding she will get this every Wednesday), who thinks that Obama is about to start killing conservatives to enforce Sharia law. She also slams in a non sequitur about the UN and the international criminal court but doesn’t elaborate. She instead goes off on a tangent about the Justice Department is enforcing religious discrimination laws, or as she calls it “lack of Shariah compliance”.
On Thursday WorldNetDaily outsourced the crazy to the professionals: Michael Savage and Rush Limbaugh. Instead of doing any actual journalism they posted comments made by the two as if their worthless verbal diarrhoea was actual news. It is ironic that WND has been banging on all week about NBC using news from ProPublica, which they accuse of being a left-wing partisan source and has some third-hand connection to Soros (honestly WND could find a connection between Soros and the guy that prints the nutritional information on the back of their cereal boxes). They on the other hand just print partisanship straight from the horse’s arsehole. Savage ran with this story and compared Obama to Hugo Chavez.
Rush Limbaugh mean while has decided that US fiscal policy for the thirty last years somehow corresponds to the American Way of Life. Wikipedia sums up capitalism up like this:
Capitalism is an economic system that became dominant in the Western world following the demise of feudalism. There is no consensus on the precise definition nor on how the term should be used as a historical category. There is general agreement that elements of capitalism include private ownership of the means of production, creation of goods or services for profit, the accumulation of capital, competitive markets and wage labor. The designation is applied to a variety of historical cases, varying in time, geography, politics and culture.
Notice no mention of slashing estate taxes, flat tax, or unregulated free markets. The US has played with lots of forms of capitalism; mercantilism, laissez-faire, that sort of weird thing during the Gilded Age, Keynesianism. Limbaugh and the tea-partiers want to paint the entire of US history in terms of the current corporate-centric policies and trickle-down bullshit, because that is what the Founding Fathers wanted and not because that was the system Rush got rich under. On a side note, why does he get paid so much? I could sprout that kind of poorly thought-out nonsense for a tenth the price, although I probably couldn’t keep it up for as long without my brain getting in the way.
The US is apparently going to go out and ‘gay’ the entire world – by ensuring that LGBT refugees receive the same treatment as other people seeking-asylum. I am really beginning to wonder in Ken DeMyer doesn’t write for WND as at the end they cut and pasted part of their previous bestiality article into this one.
Crazy of the day goes to Phil Elmore, who gives tips on preparing your survival kit. Enough said.
Someone must have died as there was not much going on. They even found room to link to an article about rock band Korn saying Obama is an Illuminati puppet.
Alan Keyes, the guy whose only claim to fame was that he got in Michael Moore’s moshpit, has now decided that the Declaration of Independence is more important than the Constitution because he can use it against abortion.
WND proved that even when making a good point, they can still defend it in a stupid way. In a story about the claim that the latest Muppets movie is communist, WND asked Ted Baehr of MovieGuide fame for his thoughts:
“Fox’s main point is that the ‘Muppets’ malign capitalism by featuring an oil tycoon villain, Tex, who wants to drill beneath Muppet Studio in order to increase his own fortune. Fox’s critics take this plot point completely out of context. In fact, it leaves us wondering if they watched the movie at all,” he said.
“Featuring Tex as the villain does not amount to communism. In the Book of Kings, Naboth refuses to sell his vineyard to King Ahab. The king’s wife, Jezebel, writes a letter in the king’s name instructing his followers to proclaim a fast, seat Naboth at a banqueting table, and then take him outside and stone him. Shortly after his death, Ahab appropriates the vineyard. Both Ahab and Jezebel are rebuked by God for their actions,” he wrote. “Does this mean that being a king is evil? Absolutely not. God rebukes Ahab and Jezebel for their treachery and for the choices they make … The message is reaffirmed once again when Christ casts the unethical businessmen of his day out of His temple.”
However there was a surprise in store, I was completely unaware that on Fridays Chuck Norris has an agony aunt advice column. Just let that sink in for a bit. Crazy of the day goes to anyone that asks Chuck for medical advice.
Obama was once again going to ‘gay’ the entire world, again it was a trivial story, there is now a little box on government job application forms allowing you to declare a sexual preference as part of an extension of equal opportunity employment to cover gender and sexual identity. If that was not bad enough, California is going to ‘gay’ your kids by telling them GLBTs exist. If you are not frightened enough yet, Macy’s is going to let the ‘gays’ come in and look at you whilst you are changing.
WND has found a constitutional law expert willing to use their definition of natural-born citizen. The video is remarkable to watch. The guy spends four and a half minutes waffling as he tries to remove the term natural-born citizen from any legal framework, including the Constitution, so that he can replace it with his own. Genius.
Farah ends the week by taking out crazy of the day, wondering why God has not yet smite the US for its stance on abortion or maybe he is? Strangely enough Farah thinks more wide-spread and unchecked use of the morning-after pill is somehow eugenics. It is the free market Farah, less government control and interference in our lives. Of course, not for women.
That is it for the first week. I would like some comments on what people think of this idea. Given the length, I might split this into a mid-week and end of week round-up. Also, in the future, I hope to start other ventures and try to post at least four times a week, although be it shorter posts.