You don’t know what a military dictatorship is, arsehole.


Whilst my colleague Π bravely risks head trauma to bring you, Dear Reader, the latest insanity from World Nut Daily, the onus has fallen upon me to find new sources of insanity and amusement for our readers. I fear we have already given nutjob creationist cum conspiracy theorist Terry Hurlbut far too much credibility and column inches here, and Conservapedia has become a pale shadow of its former glorious self. There is a glimmer of hope in Schlafly’s proposed “Persuasive Writing” course, but until then, and for as long as CP remains the domain of resident man-child Ken Demyer’s semi-literate “Atheists are fat / short / smelly / single /! Hur-hur!” output, they can be safely ignored.

Which brings me to “News with Views” – a site that comes across as WND-lite, but which is (in their own words) “dedicated to revealing lies, innuendo and agendas – wherever they may be.  Our political affiliations are not to the left or the right, but to ‘what is right and true.'” With no sense of irony, they go on to claim, “NewsWithViews.com is NOT affiliated with any religious organizations or groups. We believe in God and our Lord Jesus Christ the Savior of mankind.” 

Given that amongst the first thing you see on the advert-riddled main page are links to “Get your gold here!” and “Flu and Flu Vaccines”, you pretty much get the idea that they are firmly on the far, far, far, far right. Amongst the articles are pleas to “unmuzzle the preachers to endorse political candidates” (whilst keeping their tax exempt status, of course) and that the US needs an alternative currency.

It also sports an impressively long list of contributors, although sadly for them, there’s no Chuck Norris or Anne Coulter to share their pearls of wisdom with us. However, I did notice at least two MDs in the list, along with one Eugene Narrett, Ph.D. I just thought I’d throw out a sampling of their work, before moving on to the gist of my story for today.

Here’s Narrett rambling about… something…

A friend recounted a conversation he had a few weeks ago with two nice people, psychiatrists, who are brighter than the stuff they absorb from the Boston Globe and the New Yorker some of whose stories read like ‘death education.’ The lady remarked that “the problem is that there are too many people in the world.” The interlocutor asked, “but whom would you eliminate” and mentioned something about the eugenics agenda. A re-make of La Cage aux Folles is playing in Boston. In the 1880s English added the term of art, “a Boston marriage” to refer to two women living together as ‘husband and wife.’

Across the street lives a nice young couple. The husband, a pleasant Indonesian fellow, manages a fertility clinic that helps lesbians and others conceive. We must not discriminate.

No, I have no idea either. The two MDs both appear to be quacks of the first order. Dr James Howenstine, has an article extolling the evils of chemotherapy and radiation therapy in the treatment of malignancies. Now, I agree that the side-effects of these are pretty icky, but to avoid them? Then I came across the fact that Dr. Howenstein is the author of the book “A Physician’s Guide to Natural Health Products That Work” and is also featured on the “Alternative Cancer Treatments” website, where the opening line – quite tellingly – states “Dr. Jim Howenstine was trained in America, but moved to Costa Rica so he could help cancer patients.” And avoid malpractice lawsuits, no doubt.

As the indomitable Tim Minchin says, “Do you know what they call alternative medicine that works? Medicine.”

But before I tarry too long on these kooks, let me introduce Dave Hodges, described as “an award-winning psychology, sociology, statistics and research professor, a college basketball coach as well as a former mental health counselor.” He’s also said to be “America’s most independent talk show host” broadcasting on what appears to be the extremely right-wing Republic Broadcasting Network.

Mr. Hodges caught me eye with the article “Freedom-Loving Americans Headed to FEMA Camps.” Now I know this is nothing new, but I was rather surprised at the date of his article – 27 Dec, 2011. Clearly this was a knee-jerk reaction to Obama’s signing of the National Defense Authorization Act, with its indefinite detention clause – a move which I personally see as the low point of the administration.

For those of you that don’t know, FEMA is the Federal Emergency Management Agency, who have somehow morphed from the incompetents who made such a mess of post-Katrina New Orleans, into some sort of shadowy government agency, setting up gulags to contain “freedom-loving” (i.e. those opposed to Obama) Americans.

It really is one of the loopier side-effects of the rabid right’s reaction to the Black Man in the White House, along with calls for various southern states to secede from the union. These are the same people who cheered on the implementation of the Patriot Act, the erosion of their rights the illegal war in Iraq, etc under Bush Jr and yet see the US as some sort of military dictatorship now. Ironically, they claim this whilst clutching their constitutionally protected firearms.

Just to quote a few examples from Hodges’ rant:

Below are some key provisions which are part of the impetus for activating the FEMA camps which are contained in the Siefert KBR memo. 

“The Continental US will be broken up into five regions as indicated in the map below Services” will be required in each State within each region.”

This last part is doubly suspicious for Hodges, because “Interestingly, the South was also broken up into five military districts during the military occupation of the South during the Reconstruction Era following the Civil War.”

In addition, “Subcontractors will mobilize, transport, erect, install and demobilize temporary fencing, barricades, and associated equipment according to federal, state and local laws, codes and manufacturer installation instructions” becomes a call “for the installation of fencing and wire used for large scale detention of prisoners.

What really got my goat, however, was his opening line: “Unquestionably, Americans, who dare to speak out against the emerging military dictatorship within our country, will soon be taking up a new residence at your neighborhood FEMA camp.” I have one thing to say to Hodges.

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT A MILITARY DICTATORSHIP IS, ARSEHOLE, AND I HOPE YOU FALL ON YOUR KNEES EVERY NIGHT AND PRAY TO YOUR FALSE GOD THAT YOU NEVER DO.

Burma is a military dictatorship. Argentina, Bolivia, Paraguay, Iraq were military dictatorships. Even with this new anti-terrorism act, the US of A is nowhere near a dictatorship. I grew up and experienced my own political awakening in the South Africa of the late 80s and early 90s. This was not a good time to be joining organisations like the End Conscription Campaign, or the Congress of South African Students (or later the ANC itself). This was still the time when the unmarked car parked opposite your house contained officers from the Bureau of State Security (or the wonderfully named BOSS for short) or where your mother would be approached whilst shopping and told by a mustachioed thug that her son is going to get fucked up and will disappear if he doesn’t stop his kak (Afrikaans for “shit”). This was a time when classmates would disappear for days on end, or on one occasion for ever. This was a time when being paranoid was an everyday fact of life.

The endless paranoid bleating of the rabid right about the US’s pending descent into a Marxist/Muslim/Socialist dictatorship is puerile, pathetic and quite frankly boring. There was no mention of FEMA camps when Bush introduced Homeland Security and the patriot Act. It’s just another in a long line of what has been an extremely distasteful reaction by the right to Obama’s Presidency – something I fear is based less on his policies and more on the colour of his skin. Which is why you have the birthers carrying on about Obama’s eligibility to be President, and yet they remain silent on McCain’s even more dubious eligibility, having been born in the Panama Canal region.

The irony of it all, is these morons are screaming “Dictatorship!” at the same time the US is gearing up for the next election. Unless, of course, they know something we don’t, and they’re warning us about the looming Perry / Palin dictatorship…


About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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7 Responses to You don’t know what a military dictatorship is, arsehole.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Well written. Unfortunately it would all be a massive joke but millions of Americans actually believe it.

    • PsyGremlin says:

      Thank you 🙂 I must admit, the more I see how the US has lurched to the right… the crazy right at that, when I see the candidates they have up on offer, when I see things like Michele Bachmann is “Biblically qualified” to be President, I really have to wonder just where all the sane people went.

  2. brxbrx says:

    La Cage aux Folles was an excellent and freaking hilarious movie.

    • brxbrx says:

      don’t trust the American remake, though. Just get the good ol’ French version with subtitles.

      • PsyGremlin says:

        but… but… the American version had Robin Williams!!!!!!!!! And Gene Hackman!!!!!!

        • brxbrx says:

          I don’t want to sound like a douchey nationalist, but American remakes of French comedies are always inferior. I remember Veber (a famous and talented creator of brilliant comedies) talking about an American casting director’s decision in making another movie, and how she ignored the subtleties.
          Ah, Francois Pignon.

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