A Triple Dose of Stupidity

I must admit that watching the Republican party turn into the Taliban when it comes to women and science has become a bit boring… if only in the way that driving past mile after mile of mangled wreckage and body parts becomes boring. So I thought I’d head back to where it all began – Conservapedia.

I’ve neglected them for a bit, mostly because they’ve degenerated into the personal scribble pad of resident man-child – and the man who puts paid to founder, racist bigot Andrew Schlafly’s claim that Conservapedia members have “0 in mental problems” – Ken Demyer and his precious Question Evolution campaign. However, like a good pimple, leave it for long enough, and you’ll be able to squeeze something worthwhile out of the whole mess.

Only some qualify for outrage

Leave to CP’s resident swabbie, Brian Macdonald, to pour forth faux outrage on the main page. It seems little 14-year-old Sarah Crank (nominative determinism if ever I’ve seen it) has been receiving hate mail and death threats for – as Macdonald puts it – “testifying in support of traditional marriage.” What she actually said was, It’s rather scary to think that when I grow up the legislature or the court can change the definition of any word they want. If they could change the definition of marriage then they could change the definition of any word. People have the choice to be gay, but I don’t want to be affected by their choice. People say that they were born that way, but I’ve met really nice adults who did change.  So please vote ‘no’ on gay marriage.

So, we’ve got another little brainwashed drone (yes, she’s home schooled) trotting out the party line. That said, that does not justify the online reaction, which included threats of violence and murder. However, I also find it interesting that a Google search for “girl death threats marriage” only seems to pull up right wing, fundie Christian sites – lifesitenews.com, fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com, persecution.org, americaneedsfatima.org, etc, etc. Now, I’m not saying that they’re making this shit up – although it wouldn’t be the first time – but let’s just say I’m surprised there isn’t more widespread coverage. Be that as it may – I find it pretty sick and disturbing that people can threaten harm to a young girl, merely because she said something they disagree with.

In fact, I find it just as sickening and disturbing as the hatred and vitriol, including threats of rape, violence and murder directed by so-called Christians at 16-year-old Jessica Alquist, for daring to point out that her school was in contravention of the Constitution, because they’d hung up a prayer banner.

Let me have a look on Conservapedia to see Macdonald’s outrage at these actions. Hmm…. nothing to be found.

Surely that doesn’t imply that Macdonald is any less concerned about violence to a young girl, merely because her beliefs are different to his? Surely he doesn’t feel that she deserves to be raped and murdered for protecting the Constitution… which has lasted a lot longer than most traditional weddings that Crank was defending?

Actually, I wouldn’t mind betting that Brian Macdonald would probably cheer on the crowd as they assaulted and murdered young Jessica. Given his silence in condemning the actions of his fellow Christians, I can only assume that he supports them.

Oh Tebow!

Just when we’d all thought that the American football season was over, and Andrew Schlafly had forgotten all about God’s Own Quarterback, Tim Tebow, the Denver Bronos promptly released him.

Of course, when Schlafly heard about this, the reasons had nothing to do with Tebow’s mediocre stats – 46% completion, 6 interceptions, 7 fumbles and at 72.9 one of the lowest ratings of all NFL quarterbacks – and everything to do with the media and, of course, liberals.

It’s just another shining example of Schlafly’s persecution complex – anything that goes wrong in his life, or any belief that doesn’t pan out, has to be the fault of liberals. The fact that Tebow is a second rate quarterback, punching far above his weight, has nothing to do with it. Schalfly went into full persecution mode, quoting the following on the main page:

“The stone rejected by the builders becomes the cornerstone, This is the Lord’s way, and it is wonderful to see” “Furious, the intellectual classes wanted to seize him, but feared the public ….” Mark 10:10-12 (CBP) – Tim Tebow is abandoned by the Denver Broncos, which picks the media-favored Peyton Manning instead.

Suddenly Manning is “media-favored.” There’s also something funny here – and I don’t just mean Schalfly’s use of “intellectual classes” to denote something negative in his own heretical translation of the Bible, but also that Mark 10:10 reads:

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

I’m not quite sure what that has to do with Tebow, unless Andy has adulterous thoughts on his mind. Either way, the “lamestream media” are “thrilled that conservative Tim Tebow is being forced out of Denver.” Because, that’s how sports works Andy – you get rid of players based on political considerations. Sure.

However, I must give the final word to Andy, because there really no way to respond that doesn’t involve my forehead connecting my desk:

Honestly, I question the morality of putting Manning on the field in the rough-and-tumble NFL. The Broncos seemed to be looking for a way to rid themselves of Tebow, who is disliked intensely by some liberals.

Ah, it just gets better. Schlafly takes his bleating to the main page:

Colorado liberals want to trade away the outspoken Christian Tim Tebow ”as soon as today””’, despite doubts that newly acquired Peyton Manning can even play a full season in the NFL with his serious injury.  The morality of playing Manning despite his severe neck injury is itself questionable.

Does he seriously believe there’s some conspiracy of liberals who want to remove Tebow from the team, rather than, you know, TEAM MANAGEMENT?

Just one of the boys…

Oh dear. I suppose it had to happen eventually. Such is Andy’s inferiority and persecution complex that he feels the continuing need to build upon and defend the inane statements he’s made in the past.

Such an example is the phrase “Best of the Public,” which Schlafly coined to defend his use of unqualified people (most of whom were parodists) in his so-called conservative translation of the Bible. of course, it never was a translation, but a mere substitution of words, as Schalfly and his sidekick, Terry Hurlbut, proved unable to delve into the original Greek, and had their arses handed to them, when they did try. As it says on the main page “The best of the public is better than a group of experts” and it goes on to list many laughable examples. Foremost amongst these are things like the Olympic Games, because “anyone can enter, and winning is based solely on skill.” This, of course, happily ignores all the years of training and competition that come before the Games, which pretty much ensures that those attending are experts in their fields. Likewise, he cites people who rescued others, as if somewhere, there’s some expert bunch of rescuers who failed to be right there at that moment.

Still, given that Schlafly’s life revolves around his own twisted version of Christianity, it was only a matter of time until this pet project was shoe-horned into his belief system. Schlafly created the article “Son of Man,” in which he states:

Son of Man is an enigmatic expression in the Gospels for Jesus, perhaps characterizing Him as the best of the public in the history of the world.

Oh dear.

Let’s have a look at this. If you believe the Bible version, then the physical personification of God (remembering the one for all and all for one thing going on with God and the Holy Spook), born of a virgin, who could walk on water, turn water into wine, and who took everybody’s sins down to Hell, is the same as Joe Bloggs who sticks it to a bunch of experts.

For that matter, I’m not sure there were expert walkers on water, or turners of water into wine in those days. It’s just another example – along with Schlafly equating Jesus’ miracles to scientific phenomena – of him denying Christ’s divinity, in order to twist Him to suit Schlafly’s own beliefs.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
This entry was posted in Andrew Schlafly, Conservapedia, Jessica Alquist, Religion, Tim Tebow and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to A Triple Dose of Stupidity

  1. Arthur Adams says:

    As far as the death threats against the little girl goes…
    I’m willing to take them at their word they’re real. Pretty much anyone who takes a controversial stance will have some idiot spouting off “I’d like to kill him” or some such. It usually only makes news from commentators sympathetic to the target, because the threats are usually meaningless.

    • PsyGremlin says:

      I agree – it’s a “bottom half of the internet” thing, mindless, faceless people acting like thugs, because they can.

  2. armondikov says:

    I love that whole “changing the definition of a word” argument. Do people genuinely think that altering the definition of words will actually change reality? Surely they must. It’s the only explanation for why that would even make any sense.

    • PsyGremlin says:

      I think in Crank’s defense, she’s only repeating what she’s been taught to say. Being home schooled, it’s not like she’s been exposed to either gay people, or the other side of the debate. She’s just a little talking head that her parents have wheeled out for their 15 minutes of fame. Hopefully, with time, she’ll grow up to have her own ideas, but I doubt it.

      • Robbert says:

        You’re probably right, but I still wonder what she means by “People say that they were born that way, but I’ve met really nice adults who did change.” Anybody in her immediate surroundings attended Marcus Bachmann’s clinics?

        Oh, and as for “People have the choice to be gay, but I don’t want to be affected by their choice”… You aren’t. So rest easy.

  3. Robbert says:

    It would appear Andy’s citation is in fact a typo, If you follow the link, you are directed towards Mark 12:10-12, not 10:10-12. But yeah, it’s pretty hilarious that when the need for a Bible quote arises, he should turn to his own twisted version of it, rather than a more commonly accepted rendition.

    On a wholly unrelated note, in the lovely new banner on top of this site, who are the three people in between Bachmann and Farah?

  4. Pi says:

    Giorgio Tsoukalos, with his hair brushed for a change, mad ancient alien guy that had a documentary on the History Channel. Pam Geller, who’s massive frizzy hair has been digitally trimmed so it looks nice, WND columnist and rabid Islamaphobe, runs a blog called Defending the West. The guy tucked away at the back is James I. Nienhuis. a former guest of ours.

  5. Ely says:

    As a Christian Catholic, I personally take offence at the comparison between Jesus and his “best of the public” stuff. Since God is all-knowing, Jesus is the BEST expert there is. Well, technically.

    Seriously, what IS wrong with these people?

    OTH, I’m also willing to take them at their word on the deth-threat thing. Us evolutionists can be just as corrosive as them, and it wouldn’t be the first time such a thing has happened.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Re: Tebow

    In addition to the QB rating mentioned (which ranks him 27th out of the 33 QBs who qualify), of all the quarterbacks who have thrown at least 14 passes a game in the regular season, Tebow threw for the least yards a game. If you try sorting by other categories, you’ll see his 46.5% pass completion is the lowest of those who qualify, and his QB Rating puts him 27th. But hey, it’s not like throwing the ball is the quarterback’s job or anything.

    I agree with Conservapedia, that replacing the supremely talented Tim Tebow with the unskilled, untested Peyton Manning is nothing other than politically-motivated nonsense.

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