Tebow: My Final Word


Seriously, I don’t get all the hype over a third-rate football player who just happens to pray in public, not to mention all the hand wringing and wailing over his transfer. If this idiot didn’t pray, nobody would give two hoots about the man. It seems to be just another case of America putting mediocrity on a pedestal.

And yet it seems as if the religious maniacs have latched on to him, like a Catholic to the Pope. They nearly exploded in collective orgasm when Tebow happened to throw 316 yards in a game, thinking it was a sign from God and a reference to John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Which is another thing I’ve never understood about God. In the old days, if she wanted to get her message across, it was all burning bushes and rivers of blood. These days, she seems to rely on the antics of a little-known sportsman, playing a sport about which 99% of the world doesn’t give a shit.

Here’s a prime example; a quote from one Patton Dodd, who describes himself as “a Tim Tebow scribe, general religion nerd, and sucker for inspirational sports stories.” He says:

I’m mourning the loss of something special, something larger than football, and something Denver may never have again no matter how many championships the team wins.

Ten weeks ago last Sunday, I fell to my knees in my friend’s living room as Tebow threw a strike to wideout Demaryius Thomas to open overtime against the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first round of the NFL playoffs. Thomas ran 80 yards for the score that won the game, and I genuflected before the television, shouting Tebow’s name.

Read that last paragraph again. A grown man was genuflecting in front of his TV, shouting Tebow’s name. What about the player who ran the 80 yards to actually make the touchdown? What about the rest of the players who ensured that Tebow actually received the ball in the first place? Even if this third-rate quarterback is part of God’s Ineffable Plan, there seem to be an awful lot of other people involved who aren’t getting the credit.

And if Tebow is God’s Own Quarterback, then where the hell was she the day the Broncos got smashed and booted out of the Super Bowl – you know, the game where Tebow was running backwards in a panic.

Not the best advert for divinity, if you ask me.

But rather don’t ask me, because as far as I’m concerned, this chapter is closed.

Unless the Jets win the Super Bowl next year.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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One Response to Tebow: My Final Word

  1. CS Miller says:

    Why is it John 3:16?

    1 Timothy 3:16
    And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.

    2 Timothy 3:16
    All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

    Seem just as good, and more apt with his name.

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