So Ken Ham’s Creation “museum” (I use the inverted commas here, because what he runs is not a museum, but more on that later) has launched another campaign to lure visitors, their wallets, but most importantly, their impressionable children into his den of lies and make-believe.
This time round, he’s planting a series of billboards all over the US of A, which show pictures of various prehistoric animals, a bubble containing the worlds “Creation Museum.org” and which exit, or how far away you are from this wondrous site. Ken is very proud of these billboards, even going as far as to say “Our billboards kick the atheists’ billboards’ ass!” Or words to that effect.He’s apparently spending some $500,000 on the campaign, but is – surprise, surprise – asking museum members to chip in and fund more billboards. One thing Ken is very good at, is spending other people’s money.
Needless to say, there’s no mention of “Goddidit” anywhere on the billboard, but everybody loves a dinosaur, and no doubt there’ll be plenty of dads who’ll be nagged by snotty nosed, bored brats into stopping off to see these incredible dinosaurs.
This in itself should be punishment for driving across Kentucky, but that’s a story for another day. However, I would urge anybody who thinks that stopping off to see signposted attractions along America’s highways is a good idea, to first read Bill Bryson’s wonderful “The Lost Continent.” If you still go and stop, then you only have yourself to blame.
Here’s a few examples of the billboards:
And yes, I left the best for last. Because as we all know, fire-breathing dragons were totally real and are a part of the fossil record. The scary thing is when you realise that these people seriously believe that fire-breathing dragons did exist, and are mentioned in the Bible.
Quoting the Book of Job: is strong scales are his pride, shut up as with a tight seal. . . . His sneezes [breathings] flash forth light, and his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning. Out of his mouth go burning torches; sparks of fire leap forth. Out of his nostrils smoke goes forth, as from a boiling pot and burning rushes. His breath kindles coals, and a flame goes forth from his mouth.
Then again, they also believe Jonah was swallowed a giant fish or whale (depending on which verse you read), so anything’s possible. But where did the fire come from? Well, they have that covered too:
First, it is important to remember that bones tell you nothing about the existence of hair, what the skin color looked like, group social habits or internal secretions. Second, God originally made animals and mankind to be vegetarians.
Which totally explains T Rex’s teeth.
What happens when you put a lot of vegetable material in a confined space with no oxygen? The decomposition of the material produces methane gas. Cows produce a lot of methane gas. As a matter of fact, environmental terrorists are quick to point this out and to try to use this information to get people to stop consuming milk, cheese and meat. Environmental terrorists consider methane gas to be an air pollutant and a partial cause of dreaded global warming.
In essence, cows burp methane gas. Any child raised on a farm with cows knows about this. If you light a match and stick it in front of a cow when it burps, you will get a mini-flame thrower.
How could an animal intentionally ignite methane gas that it breathed out of its mouth or nostrils to produce a usable flame?
Of course, there might have been a mechanical mechanism , such as snapping or clicking the teeth together quickly to produce a spark similar to a flintlock rifle. Or, perhaps there was an electrical mechanism . A series of electrical organs lining the throat similar to those of electric eels or electric fish could have been used to ignite the gas. Electric eels produce voltages up to 600 volts on demand. More likely, however, there was a chemical mechanism involved. After all, it is the chemical mechanism of bio-luminescence that makes fireflies light up the night sky.
And so on and so forth. Just reading through that – seriously, holding a match up to a cow? – makes me wonder if this isn’t an internet prank. However, this pales into insignificance, when compared to one Dr. Richard Kent, who claims that the dragon myth came about because there was less oxygen in the air after the Flood, and their efforts to draw in more air through their small nostrils… caused their nostrils to burst into flame. Needless to say, this is also why they became extinct.
Now, one has to wonder just what kind of “museum” can be based on such hokum? Well, as we’d expect, it’s not much of a museum at all. Questions, and certainly dissenting opinions aren’t welcome. In fact, they have armed security guards there, whose job it is to essentially silence protest, and to even remove people from the “museum.” There’s also no room to explore, to roam around at will, and there’s no interactivity. You’re forced to follow a single route that stuffs their perception of reality down your throat. PZ Myers summed it up best, when he described it as, “It is a carnival ride. It shows throughout in the layout — the rubes are supposed to be shuttled through efficiently, get their little thrills, and exit so the next group can make the trip.”
The irony about all of this, is Ham’s own lamentation that:
Secularists are very concerned that children will be influenced by them and want to come to the Creation Museum. They want children to be only indoctrinated in their atheistic evolutionary religion.
Ok, one – isn’t that exactly what you’re trying to do, Ham? Indoctrinate children into your bronze age Sky daddy cult? Two, neither atheism nor evolution are a religion, but I don’t expect you to understand that. Three, they’re concerned that children will be duped by your lies. And four, there’s no such thing as dragons. Except in Harry Potter *.
And even that’s more believable than Ham’s “museum” – even with the fancy billboards.
* Yes, yes, and Chinese mythology and a gazillion other myths and legends – it’s an analogy, ok?