And She Writes This With A Straight Face?


The one nice thing about blogging about internet crazies is that there so damn many of them out there. Some pop up once or twice as I search the web, the others are almost like old friends. It’s comforting in a way, to occasionally visit TimeCube and think to yourself, “There but for the grace of God random chance, go I…”

One of these “old friends” is a blog run by one Julie Cabral Lucas, called (for some reason) “No Shoes or Shirt Required.” Maybe it has something to do with living in Virginia. Now Julie is your average rabid Southern fried fundie Christian – not too bright, wears her homophobia on her sleeve, thinks global warming is a hoax, etc, etc. On the plus side, if such thing a possible, she’s not too down with the whole “Woman, submit to Man” thing in the Bible – which would probably get her branded a feminist in most fundie quarters…

…and she has a hard on for demons.

Yup, barely a post goes by where she isn’t warning about the evils of demons and demon possession. Here a classic example of her take on global warming:

Unbelievers and pseudo Christians think that the world is rotating on a mathematically proven axis and the only thing that could ever affect its orbit is global warming. True Christians, you know the ones, the ones that the government keeps warning you will take away your birth control and force everyone to conform to its archaic, caveman standards, know that biblical prophecy is being fulfilled before our very eyes; almost daily and global warming is not a result of fossil fuels but our sin run amuck or, oh dear, should I say it, something even more astonishing…simple climate cycles.

She then goes on to conclude that what she calls “climate cycles” are merely God warning us to behave or else, because:

So when it comes to Biblical Prophecy, it simply is God warning us of what will happen when we give in to the enemy (yes, that would be Satan) and his emissaries (that would be demon’s) and go against God’s order. When we do Satan has free reign in our lives, our country and our world. Simple as that!

But this is the post that prompted me to write today. I think it’s a perfect example of the cognitive dissonance (if that’s the right euphemism for “batshit insane”) that fundamentalists in general must go throw, in rejecting everything they don’t believe in, then happily spouting something equally insane.

In this case, Julie isn’t happy with Pastor Charles L. Worley – the hate-filled Christian bigot who wants to lock up homosexuals behind electrified fences until they die out. Now given her own views on homosexuality that is somewhat strange, but Julie is more about exorcism than concentration camps. Anyway, sez Julie:

Well crack pot nuts like that don’t need any more media attention, but most importantly the more you make a big deal out of his insane rantings, the more people think true believers agree with him. To put your mind to rest, true Christian’s DO NOT think like him. I hope that answered this inquiry.

Well, that’s comforting to know. So, tell me Julie, how do true Christian’s think? In the very next paragraph, she says:

Moving on, as most of you are aware I am deeply passionate about uncovering the activity of demonic forces so I would like to briefly discuss a book by Derek Prince called “Blessings or Curse, You Can Choose!” I was asked to look through it for any questionable teachings. I’ve reviewed his teachings in the past and most of what he says is true, however he misses one very important aspect of demonic activity, especially in the life of a believer; a person that takes the law of God seriously and makes every effort to do as it commands and does not live with one foot in the world as a carnal Christian may do.

And that was when I knew this post had basically written itself.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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6 Responses to And She Writes This With A Straight Face?

  1. armondikov says:

    We’ve been wondering if she’s a parodist for a while. Seems like it. There’s just something about the capitalisation of certain terms that seems to suggest something is off…

    • PsyGremlin says:

      Hmmm… I was going to say was kind of person keeps on doing something like that for ages and ages… but let’s not go there 🙂
      I’m not sure about parody, some of her stuff is pretty out, but given the location of the blog, I’ll call it a Poe at best.

  2. Norseman says:

    Hot damn she is not shy about that crazy in her. She even goes so far as to say other Christians don’t like her (trying to find a stake to stab her, metaphorically) and people get harassed by demons for buying a book. Poe or Hoe, can’t tell.

  3. Jeeves says:

    If the misplaced apostrophes are anything to go by, I should say “True Christian’s” don’t think at all.

  4. mark says:

    “almost daily and global warming is not a result of fossil fuels”

    I did not think her type believed in fossils?

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