Tweedledum meets Tweedlebatshitinsane

I watched an Alex Jones broadcast last night.

I’m not proud of it. In fact, I would have rather read “50 Shades of Gray” or repeatedly jab knitting needles into my eyes – the knitting needles being the less onerous of the two options. However, my co-editor-in-crime here at WCMTU, Pi, alerted me to the fact that Alex Jones was interviewing WND’s Jospeh Farah. There had already been a fawning piece on the interview in Farah’s own WND, but given that media outlet’s reputation, I thought it best to merely use that as a reference and hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. I don’t want to steal Pi’s thunder, but as he’s still cavorting with groupies working on his thesis, let me try and do this justice.

The horse in the case being Alex Jones, whose mouth sounds like it does a bottle of bourbon and 60 cigarettes a day. Farah, on the other hand, sounds like Cliff Clavin of Cheers fame – an annoying smugness, behind which you know lies a dribbling simpleton, who still lives at home with his mother.

Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with Alex Jones, he’s the man behind the Infowars and Prison Planet sites and can basically be summed up by saying “He never met a conspiracy theory he didn’t like.” This is essentially a guy who makes Glenn Beck and even David Icke look sane. (Just as an aside, I hold a personal theory that Icke is a plant within the conspiracy movement, whose sole purpose is to utterly discredit them by publishing complete and utter bollocks, like the “shape-changing lizards” bit. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jones wasn’t his sidekick in the venture.)

Jones also has to pay the bills, so the broadcast is interspersed with him hawking products for sale on his website, such as something called “Tangy Tangerine,” which Jones claims resulted in him losing 37lbs in 2 months. Given that he still looks like a beached whale, either he had a lot of weight to lose, or he’s talking out of his – rather large – ass. He also does the typical infomercial trick – he says “When I started taking the tangy tangerine and other products…” without actually mentioning what those other products are. But enough about Jones, let’s see what Farah has to say.

Jones introduces Farah and they engage in a few moments of mutual masturbations, each one saying, “No, but your site is the bestest ever!” It’s telling that Jones thinks there’s only three worthwhile media outlets around – himself, WND and the Drudge Report… all of which also happen to be so batshit insane that anybody with half a brain cell and any common decency avoids them like the plague.

There’s just so much wrong with the introduction. Jones says he received a call from WND “while he was up at Bilderberg” – no doubt working on his theory that Bilderbergers eat roast babies, wrapped in gold foil. He then goes on to say that WND’s newsroom “looks like a military bunker’ – something which does not surprise me in the slightest. Given the massive persecution complex Farah and his ilk have, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if Farah’s own house was a compound in the making. Jones describes it as “an awesome looking newsroom, with activity buzzing… it’s a first class newsroom.” He goes on to say, “there’s only a few organisations (including Jones, of course) that can punch a story out there.”

Now, before I carry on, let’s have a look at some of these headlines that WND is currently “punching out there” on July 11th:

  • 40,000 Iran Agents in Western Hemisphere (shouldn’t that be Iranian?)
  • Soros Seizing World resources
  • ‘Magic Man in the Sky’ author on TBN
  • Immigration officers doubted Obama birth story
  • What happened to Ark of the Covenant?
  • How ‘Obamessiah’ wooed his worshippers
  • Episcopal bishops OK ‘gay’-marriage rites
  • WHY OBAMA LIES: The truth finally comes out

And so. As you can see, it’s really the product of a “first class newsroom.”

As for Farah himself… well, to be honest I’m not sure if he was pandering to Jones’ special brand of insane, or if he seriously believes his own bullshit. You see, Joe (I’ll call him that from now on, because his ridiculous mustache reminds me of Joseph Stalin… or a bouncer at a leather club) honestly believes that his house was “buzzed” by a spy drone. As he said:

“I’m taking my dog for a walk and guess what I see right over the tree line right above my head is a drone,” he said. “I don’t live in the city, I don’t live in a populated area, I live in one of the most rural places you could possibly live in Northern Virginia and there could only be one thing that this drone was spying on and that would be me, that would be my property because there’s just nothing else around except woods and deer.”

So a top of the range military unmanned aircraft, equipped with super cameras and infra red and god knows what else, if buzzing Joe’s house.

At tree height.

Because, as we all know – when one these uses a missile to take out whoever the current baddie of the week is, they swoop in a tree height.

Joe, you say you live out in the country, nothing around you except woods and deer. Sounds like a perfect place to build your compound… I mean, for people to fly their model aircraft. Then again, given the fantasy world that Farah and his kind inhabit, one where Obama is coming for their guns and Sharia law will be imposed any day now, it’s possible that he genuinely believes that the buzzing in his head is the dreaded government spying on him. You know, the goverment doesn’t have to deploy multi-million dollar drones, to look at Joe’s house – a little bit of time on a site like Spokeo and Google Earth, gives a pretty good view of Joe’s compound.

Because he is such a threat to national security.

Although… given the comments by the semi-literate readers of WND, it seems as if most of them are in favour of armed rebellion. So maybe it’s time to open those FEMA death camps.

I must confess, I stopped watching at this point. Farah was about to launch into health care and how evil Obama and Justice Roberts are, and I’d already headdesked enough for one night.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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