And the hits just keep on coming


Amazing. I take a bit of a hiatus from trawling through the cesspool of what passes for conservative thought processes, and it seems as if they ramp up the crazy in an effort to lure me back to the keyboard.

CNAV

The crazies over at Terry Hurlbut’s Conservative News and Views (which I’m still boycotting) have managed to outdo themselves when it comes to frothing-at-the-mouth insanity. Amongst the latest dribbling emissions are posts blaming Obama for the anti-Muslim video (yes, it’s just another false flag operation, like the recent cinema shooter) and some bizarre rant about how Obama’s new election logo mirrors the bloodstains from the slain Libyan ambassador, and it’s somehow the equivalent of “Mein Kampf,” ergo on top of being a Muslim atheist Marxist, Obama is now also Hitler, with a God complex.

World Net Daily

Surprisingly, World Net Daily’s main page didn’t have their usual dose of outright batshit insanity, focusing on election issues. However, it wouldn’t be WND if their birther-in-chief, Jerome Corsi, wasn’t banging the birther drum. Bizarrely, he’s carrying on with his theory that Obama’s real father is Frank Lloyd Marshall. Now – and I know I’m trying to apply logic to a bunch of racist fucktards, who can’t believe there’s a Black Man in the White House – let’s just assume for one second that FLM is BO’s dad. Wouldn’t that immediately invalidate all the other arguments that morons like Corsi, Arpio and Taitz have been spouting?

Anyway, Corsi bases his latest bit on the fact that in a campaign e-mail, Obama claims that “his dad taught him to love jazz.” A perfectly innocent comment… unless you’re Corsi, or equally insane film-maker Joel Gilbert – another proponent of the FLM theory. Then the question is:

Obama’s official life story claims he was with Barack Obama, the Kenyan, only one time, in the early 1970s, and then briefly, for a week or 10 days,” he explained.

“How was that enough time to teach 9-year-old Obama to love jazz music? Besides, jazz is uniquely American. Besides, what evidence is there the Kenyan dug Coltrane?”

Wow. Jazz is uniquely American. Who knew? That has to be one of the dumbest things I have ever seen on WND – and that includes the comments section of the article in question, most of which appear to be submitted by people who shouldn’t be allowed to have crayons, never mind access to a computer.

And why shouldn’t somebody from Kenya enjoy jazz? After all, he did spend time at Harvard and the Uni of Hawaii. Not only that, but a 10 second Google search tells me that Obama Sr took young Barack to a Dave Brubeck concert in 1971.

Which tells me that either Corsi and Gilbert are pretty awful researchers… or they’re lying fucks.

My money’s on the latter option.

Staying with WND for the time being, it’s interesting to note that there’s a number of black faces cropping up in their commentary section. It’s normally been the haunt of Farah, Coulter, Norris, et al – the usual collection of angry white folk. But know there’s a few black faces appearing – presumably in an attempt for WND to say, “See! We’re not racist! Some of our best contributors are black!” That’s all very well and fine, but sadly WND’s black contributors are every bit as batshit insane as their melanin deprived colleagues.

First up we have Star Parker. Admittedly, her article started promisingly – she had a dip at Mitt for his “47%” gaffe and even went as far as to say “Barack Obama has charisma. Mitt Romney doesn’t. And this poses a great challenge to the Republican candidate.” That is spot on too – Romney exudes the warmth and character of a doorknob. However, it was too good to be true, for Parker almost immediately launches into:

Here is how my dictionary defines charisma: “a special quality of leadership that captures the popular imagination and inspires unswerving allegiance and devotion.”

Is there anything Romney can do? I believe there is. The question is if he is willing.

Charisma in a biblical sense implies divine grace. It is the radiance of an individual who connects to and becomes a vessel for divine truth.

However, there are false prophets. And a false prophet, who truly believes his own personally conjured up vision, can be charismatic.

We have a false prophet leading the nation whose only message is “trust me.”

However, the award for the most outrageous, dribbling mad post of the week… possibly year, goes to Ellis Washington, who takes a leaf from Chuck Norris and proclaims that “We’re all under Sharia law now.”

Even by WND standards it’s a rambling, paranoid rant, that essentially boils down to the fact that Obama hates the Constitution, and by blaming the makers of The Innocence of Muslims for the violence in the Middle East, he’s basically imposing Sharia law on everybody. He goes on to say:

Churchill, Reagan and Thatcher would never allow a seventh-century primitive cult like Islam to dictate our foreign policy, domestic policy and essentially render America’s First Amendment guarantees – freedom of religion, freedom of speech and freedom of the press – to fall prostrate before the prophet Muhammad and Islam. This Democratic socialist appeasement to Muslim fanaticism is outrageous and puts Americans worldwide in grave danger.

Wow… so of the three people most likely to support the US Constitution, two of them are British? Doesn’t say much about the caliber of US politicians does it?

Rush is a (tiny) Dick

Rush Limbaugh wouldn’t last 30 seconds on our local radio waves.

Fact.

Because, you see, we have this little thing called the Broadcasting Complaints Commission. Now what this does is ensure that while you enjoy your right to freedom of speech, you are also held accountable for what you say during your media broadcast. So, if you’re going to lie, and promote hate speech and be openly insulting, members of the public can lodge complaints and the BCC can take action.

And given how fast and loose Rush plays with the truth, it wouldn’t be long before he would be suspended, removing his special brand of crap from the airwaves.

That said, it would appear as if Rush has been telling the truth lately – he has a tiny dick. Of course, the fact that he’s a fat, drug-addicted tub of lard, who probably hasn’t seen his dick without a mirror for the last 30 years, has nothing to do with that.

Nope, it’s the fault of feminists:

I think it’s feminism. If it’s tied to the last 50 years — the average size of [a male’s] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years — it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else. Give ‘em time and they’ll blame Bush. But air pollution vs. feminazis? Ha!

So there you have it – feminism has a direct impact of genes and if you were to say that Rush suffers from a cock-shriveling fear of women, you’d be a liar and a commie bastard.

Then again, given the 10% statistic, it’s probably a good thing I wasn’t born 50 years ago… then every time I saw a pretty girl, I’d start walking with a limp…

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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