Right-Wing Round-up

Please bear with me, Dear Readers; I promise to start blogging with increased frequency once this hectic start to the year is over (so, in about November then!) and hopefully fellow blogger Pi will be able to extract himself from whatever cult has kidnapped him to partake in their ancient fertility rites.  Then service might return to whatever passes for normal in this neck of the woods.

In the meantime, I’m going to go through my ever-increasing folder of batshit insanity, and try and bring you a digest – or maybe a regurgitation, given the subject material – of what’s caught my eye lately.  Starting off with…

Pat Robertson wows the ladies again

How this senile, insane, vile geriatric woman-hater is still on the airwaves never fails to amaze me – maybe it’s because he’s bilked his followers of enough cash to run his own station and – scary as it might sound – he clearly has followers, who are too high on Jesus to say, “WTF?”

Fresh from making a “joke” that a husband writing into his “700 Club” show – which could probably be a source of material all on its own – should move to Saudi Arabia, so he could beat his disrespectful wife, he went on to offer the following marital advice to a teenager, who was worried that his dad was spending too much time playing video games and not paying enough attention to his wife:

It may be your mom isn’t as sweet as you think she is. She may be kind of hard-nosed.

He then goes on to offer the following little parable:

A woman came to a preacher that I know, and she was awful looking. I mean, her hair was all torn up and she was overweight and looked terrible, clothes bad and everything. And she said, ‘Oh, Reverend, what can I do? My husband has started to drink.’ And the preacher looked at her and said, ‘Madam, if I was married to you I’d start to drink too.’ We need to cultivate romance, darling! … You always have to keep that spark of love alive. It just isn’t something to just lie there, ‘Well, I’m married to him so he’s got to take me slatternly looking.’ You’ve got to fix yourself up, look pretty.

Because, as with all of these conservative, religious fuckwits, it’s always the woman’s fault. Clearly his mind is stuck in some 1950s Stepford utopia, where he comes home from a hard day’s fleecing his flock, to find his newly scrubbed and perfumed wife putting dinner on the table. The spark of romance from come from her too – but only with the lights off, doors closed, missionary position, once a week. In his mind the man doesn’t have to do anything.

But not only that – he’s replying to a teenager, who is clearly worried that his parents’ wedding isn’t all it’s supposed to be. How heartless, or out of touch with reality, must you be not to give a sensible, heartfelt answer, instead of expecting him to go, “Hey Mom, if you weren’t so ugly, Dad wouldn’t play video games?” It’s just another example of the gulf between what Robertson preaches and what the Bible he claims to believe in, actually says.

The War on Women Continues

Of course, there’s no real reason to focus on the ramblings of a senile geriatric, when you’ve got the entire Republican Party ganging up on the fairer sex.

Now you’d think that after the 2012 election, when most Americans with a uterus and a brain took one look at the GOP’s stance on contraception, rape and abortion – not to mention the amazing ignorance shown by people like Todd Akin – and gave them the collective middle finger, that the GOP would have looked at just maybe toning down the rhetoric a little.

Fat chance of that happening. It seems that the republicans have decided that it’s easier to gerrymander the electoral districts and change the laws of the Electoral College, in order to ensure they win any further elections. Because nothing says “Democracy” like changing the rules to suit you, because the majority of your citizens disagree with you. So yes, the Republicans are still pro-birth – not pro-life, because they have no interest in saving the life of the mother should things go wrong, and certainly no interest in the welfare of the child, once it has been born – and they’re coming for your birth control. And in typical GOP style, using the most batshit insane justifications for their stance.

cathrynn_brown-620x4121Ok, I did say “batshit insane’ above, but I think “fucking reprehensible” best describes the efforts of New Mexico’s Cathrynn Brown – a Republican member of the State’s House of assembly. She’s taken a novel – and quite frankly disgusting, coming from a woman – approach to the GOP’s “no abortion, even if raped” stance. Most of these fuckheads usually cite that fact that the group of cells is a person, or that the child shouldn’t pay for the sins of the father. The latter is doubly ironic, considering these people all think that humanity is doomed by their God to be a bunch of sinners, because their great-great-great-etc-grandfather, Adam, ate something he shouldn’t have.

What Brown is suggesting in House Bill 206, is that any woman who has an abortion after being raped, or due to incest, would be charged with a third-degree felony for tampering with evidence, which can a prison term of up to 3 years. That’s right. Instead of helping a victim cope with a horrific ordeal, they are going to become criminals themselves. The full text reads:

Tampering with evidence shall include procuring or facilitating an abortion, or compelling or coercing another to obtain an abortion, of a fetus that is the result of criminal sexual penetration or incest with the intent to destroy evidence of the crime.

Now, I’m neither a detective, nor a doctor, but I’m pretty certain that if you’re looking for evidence of rape or incest, waiting 9 months for a screaming, unwanted bundle of pink flesh isn’t very high on the list. It really is a disgusting bit of grandstanding from somebody who ought to know better.

There is a small silver lining to this. Although New Mexico has a Republican Governor, both the State House and Senate have comfortable Democratic majorities (seriously, I’ll never understand US politics), so the Bill is unlikely to pass. Not only that, but the howls of outrage at the thought of prosecuting rape victims, forced Brown to walk back her Bill to avoid a PR nightmare. However, it reappeared with a new twist, because Brown clearly thinks that people can’t read:

Now, instead of charging the victim with destroying evidence, now the Bill aims to charge state abortion providers with the felony crime of “facilitating” the destruction of evidence.

One can only help that this vile creature has consigned her political career to the scrap heap with this bit of buffoonery.


I started off by mentioning that dumb-ass Todd Akin – the guy who thought that women’s bodies had a way to prevent pregnancy during a “legitimate” rape – presumably because they can tell between lover’s sperm and rapist’s sperm. Akin wasn’t alone in this – he was soon joined by a plethora of right wing idiots, who seemed to be trying to outdo each other in trumpeting their ignorance of the workings of girlie bits.

And now they’ve been joined by one more. Conservative talk-show host Kevin Swanson is either the dumbest person walking this planet, or – like his compatriots Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck – he isn’t adverse to lying through his teeth, to an audience he knows aren’t given to critical thinking. This is what this yahoo had to say:

I’m beginning to get some evidence from certain doctors and certain scientists that have done research on women’s wombs after they’ve gone through the surgery, and they’ve compared the wombs of women who were on the birth control pill to those who were not on the birth control pill. And they have found that with women who are on the birth control pill, there are these little tiny fetuses, these little babies, that are embedded into the womb. They’re just like dead babies. They’re on the inside of the womb. And these wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies.

I’ll give you a chance to let that sink in… and for you to recover from the desk-induced concussion.

I find it almost impossible to believe that somebody with even a modicum of education and functioning neurons can be that ignorant. Therefore, I have to assume that this prick is simply lying through his teeth, to a scarily gullible audience.  Never mind the staggering claim that taking the Pill results in 1000s of little fetuses lining the uterus – which formed how I must ask? Given that taking the pill not only prevents ovulation, but also makes the uterus a rather inhospitable place for a fertilised egg, just where are all these 1000s of tiny fetuses coming from?

The answer, of course, lies in the opening part of his statement: “some evidence from certain doctors and certain scientists.” Nothing screams “I’m talking out of my ass!” like vague appeals to authority. What is the so-called evidence? Who are these doctors and scientists? I’d love him to name names, because if these people actually exist and are practicing medicine, they should be struck off the roll immediately! I doubt even the loonies at the AAPS believe this shit. Then again, they did appoint Andrew Schlafly as their legal counsel, so who knows…


You might recall that thanks to the Republicans, the Violence Against Women Act expired at the end of last year. This Act allows for “funding toward investigation and prosecution of violent crimes against women, imposes automatic and mandatory restitution on those convicted, and allows civil redress in cases prosecutors chose to leave unprosecuted.”

The reason why the GOP members allowed this to happen? They were unhappy that the Act was going to be expanded to provide the same level of protection to Native Americans, illegal immigrants and members of the LGBT community. Because clearly government protection is only for straight, white Anglo-Saxons.

Well, it went back to the vote in the Senate earlier this month, and 8 Republican senators voted to block it. Much like the provision of relief aid to victims of Hurricane Sandy, things like this should not be political footballs to kick around. Sadly, they are, because in the greater scheme of things, these people think women should be home in the kitchen, and they should shut the fuck up.

The 8 are:

Sens. Ted Cruz (R-TX), Mike Lee (R-UT), Tim Scott (R-SC), Marco Rubio (R-FL), Mike Johanns (R-NE), Rand Paul (R-KY), Pat Roberts (R-KS), and James Risch (R-ID).

In addition, Sen. Deb Fischer (R-NE) was the only woman in the Senate who did not co-sponsor the legislation.

As with that loathsome Brown above, I hope this brainless decision by the misogynistic morons comes back to haunt them and buries their political careers.

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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3 Responses to Right-Wing Round-up

  1. Disseisitus says:

    If having an abortion is destroying evidence then shouldn’t they also prosecute people who seek treatment for gunshot wounds?

  2. Tom says:

    “Screaming, unwanted lump of pink flesh”? You’re a disgusting, low-life human being, just like all left-wing extremists. You’d fit in well on Conservapedia, you’re as nuts as they are. Get over your obsession with the place and get some help, man.

    • PsyGremlin says:

      Yeah Tom. That whooshing noise is you missing the point of that phrase. Then again, I wouldn’t expect a frothing-at-the-mouth right wing nutjob to get the point, because it’s so much more fun being angry and persecuted all the time. Still, thanks for dropping by – next time, try engaging your brain.

Comments are closed.