America the Bigoted

Ok, now let me start off by saying that I honestly don’t give a damn about the Superbowl. I don’t get the hype, I don’t get the razzmatazz, I don’t get the breathless anticipation over the half-time shoe and most of all, I don’t get American football. I do get that it’s all about money.. big money… big money brought in by advertisers. Which is why the one football game I’ve ever seen took three hours to broadcast a game that lasts an hour – all the ad breaks. Yes, every time they stop play – which seems to be every 10 seconds – there’s an ad break.

 So, when you have the biggest thing on American TV going on, you’d expect the advertisers to get some bang for the many, many bucks they’re spending and put out something catchy or edgy to get people talking.

And this is exactly what Coca-Cola did. Now I haven’t seen the ad, but apparently it featured the song “America the beautiful,” with a portion of the lyrics sung in Spanish, to reflect the diversity of American culture.

Well, what it actually reflected is just how many right-wing racist fuckheads there are in the US, because they took to Twitter in their masses, howling their indignation that HOW DARE COKE INCLUDE SPANISH IN MAH SONG?!

Most of the posts were along the lines of “This is America! We speak English here!” (made doubly hilarious by the posts that were so grammatically awful that English would promptly disown whomever was using its name in vain) which means that the posters are all happily ignorant of the fact that America does not have an official language. Then again, I would expect such arcane knowledge to be well above the kind of mentality we’re dealing with here. Here’s a short sample I pulled off Coke’s Facebook page:

cokeThe really worrying one comes from somebody clearly serving in the US armed forces. Yes, he took an oath to defend the country… but evidrntly only the English-speaking bits of it.

tumblr_inline_n0eg64IQhs1qawfnhAs always, Public Shaming have done sterling work in putting together a gallery of the terminally bigoted and stupid.

And, of course, this post wouldn’t be complete without pointing out the mental midgets, who a) want  to speak something called “American” (would that be an Esperanto-esque English/Spanish/French pidgin perhaps?)  and b) don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”


Of course, there were the usual calls for boycotts (to add to the calls to boycott Starbucks and girl scout cookies. Oh and not to forget Subway, because they dared to take part in a project endorsed by the First Lady.) , and claims that people would switch to Pepsi. Of course, the irony here being that these are the same waddling fuckwads who were outraged, OUTRAGED, when the left called for a boycott of Chick-fil-A over their anti-gay policies.

Once again showing the kind of mental faculties that means they can’t breathe without instructions, these morons are clearly unaware that Pepsi is very much pro-gay rights, and has drawn criticism from conservatives for being so. Then again, we are talking about the same mindset that said they’d move to Canada if Obamacare ever became a thing. Canada, a country that already has “socialised medicine.”

And I wonder just how many of these bigoted jackasses would still consider “America the Beautiful” such an amazing song, if they knew it was penned by a lesbian, who left the Republican Party, in protest against their anti League of Nations xenophobia.

However, in pride of place, and to conclude this post, I’ll leave you with the outraged jackasses who don’t even know what their country’s national anthem is. Yeah, that’s the kind of patriots we’re talking about.


About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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2 Responses to America the Bigoted

  1. patricia porcello says:

    That ad was just to entice Spanish Americans to drink their product (probably a group targeted by their consumer research team). Screaming and ranting about left-wing lesbians writing the ad and coke being anti-American will not get you noticed and coke off the shelves, it just makes you look seriously bigoted and biased and just a little bit on the nutty side. This product should be off the market (and not FDA approved) just for the fact that your taking a mouthful of chemicals every time you take a sip of coke or diet coke. Read the ingredients, I bet most of you will not even be able to pronounce them, then look them up on the web. You will never drink another glass of soda after you do. It’s amazing what companies will get people to drink with just good advertising. On an end-note please remember that the only true Americans are the American Indians, EVERYONE ELSE are just immigrants who came from all over the world to find peace, prosperity, and freedom from prejudice. It’s 2014 let all try to get along with each other.


    Another example of your well-written humor!

    I don’t get excited over football either, but I can get into the sport of racism. I’m always trying to tell my Japanese-American wife exactly why her kind are better than my kind. But she don’t buy it. Dang Earthling. 😉

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