Dear Mister Zuma


I noticed yet another article, where instead of admitting that 21 years into South Africa’s new democracy, your ruling party is cocking things up on an unparalleled scale, you chose to once again blame apartheid for leaving SA “an angry country.”

Consider this my open letter response to your mindless dribbling, Mr Zuma.

No, you fat, useless git – let me tell you what made South Africa a sick country.

Watching the miracle created by Mandela be slowly corrupted, first by Mbeki, whose blind allegiance to Zimbabwe resulted in the covering up of the Kampepe commission’s report, which revealed that Zim’s elections were NOT free and fair, followed up by his AIDS denialism – duly helped al0ong by his alcoholic Minister of Health, Manto and her garlic and beetroot “cures.”

Then you came along, Mr ‪‎Zuma‬ (I won’t call you President Zuma, because I have respect for the Office of the President, not for the corrupt cunt currently occupying that office, and his equally corrupt spokesman, Mac Maharaj), a man so morally bankrupt that not only were you not above granting favours to the Shaik family in return for them paying your bills – a job which seems to have been taken over by the Guptas now, allowing their family to land chartered jets at military airbases – but you are also unable to keep your dick in your pants, despite having had more wives than school grades you’ve passed. Yes, you had the money and good old Kemp J Kemp to get you off the rape charge, but what about the kid you fathered with Ivan Khoza’s daughter? Who exactly is paying the maintenance for that? Yet which your popularist rhetoric (i.e. lies to poor people) you became President, thanks to the votes of a few thousand people at the ANC conference. The ANC might enjoy 60% of the vote, but you became president with fewer votes than your average PTA member receives.

You preside over what was an economic powerhouse, that no longer has enough power, because the cronies you appoint can’t seem to grasp that while you might be bringing electricity to previously disadvantaged areas, there is no need to provide for the extra power this requires, nor to maintain the infrastructure that is already in place.

You preside over a country where people are still waiting for the houses and basic services they were promised in 1994, while you waste R250 million on upgrades to your private residence and then try to explain it away by claiming your swimming pool is a “fire pool” in case the thatch catches fire. Luckily, you also preside over an electorate that seems to believe these lies.

You preside over a country – in fact the only country in the world – that has an affirmative action policy designed to benefit the majority, and yet you still sit with an unemployment rate of 25%. You preside over an education system, where 30% is considered enough to pass, and where the standards of maths and science teaching are the lowest in the world, and yet you seem unaware of why the youth are so angry, because they cannot be employed, but better-educated foreigners are.

You preside over a country whose economy is being driven into the ground by the increasingly unrealistic demands of the trade unions, which whom you are in alliance in parliament, and so are unable to effectively counter, without risking losing their votes.

You preside over a country where ANC appointees are currently ruining every government department and state enterprise – the SABC, SAA, Eskom, the Post Office are all essentially broken beyond repair, and that’s happened on your watch. Your fundamental corruptness, and your pathological need to keep it covered up has destroyed the police and security services at the highest level, as anybody who looks to investigate either yourself, or the corrupt cronies you appoint to senior positions are themselves removed. leaving organizations like the Hawks and even SARS (which you need to work, to provide an income for you and your wives) rudderless and falling into the same state of chaos as the Post Office and the SABC.

There one reason – and reason only – why South Africa is a sick country – at it’s head is a pus-filled bubo of ineptitude and corruption and we are rotting from the head down. Until that pustule is lanced, we will continue to do so.

And PAY BACK THE MONEY, YOU FAT, USELESS CUNT!

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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