The End Result of Biblical Literalism


Basing your life around the principles of science as envisioned by a bunch of nomadic goat herders 4,000 years ago, does result in some interesting consequences. Not least of which is a blithering ignorance of just how the world, and everything in, on and around it, works. Of course, such ignorance has never been an impediment to the truly religious, most of whom absolutely revel in – and certainly seem proud of – a level of ignorance that’s probably greater than most junior school children (take the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, who happily went on record, claiming that it’s Jesus that holds all the atoms of the universe together).

Protecting such ignorance against the evils of the world, takes a special kind of dedication, especially when you have to protect your loved ones against the evils of evolution, other gods, atheism, vaccinations and space travel.

Yes. Space Travel.

Today’s genius, as you’ll from his post below, not only doesn’t believe that space travel is possible, he studiously avoids all “secular” museums, because clearly he’s so insecure in his faith that the mere sight of something that disagrees with his worldview, could convert him into a raping, pillaging, baby eating atheist.This is somebody who hangs out at Ken Ham’s Creation “Museum” – and no doubt he will enjoy the zip line ride, because as you well know, all the great museums are known for their amusement rides. Although somehow I think North Carolina’s “Creation Museum and Taxidermy Hall of Fame” will be more up his street.

The Smithsonian – a place I would happily sell my mother’s organs to see one day – comes in for special vilification, because of all that nasty science stuff it has in it, and the fact they “perpetuate the lie of space travel.”

WARNING! Insert pillow between head and desk before reading this!

WARNING! Insert pillow between head and desk before reading this!

You see, because the Bible talks about water being “above the firmament” these people genuinely believe that there is a layer of water encircling the globe (which no doubt explains why the sky is blue too!) and therefore no spaceship could get through to visit the Moon and the rest of the Solar System.

The really scary thing is that this yahoo isn’t alone in thinking this. There was a “theory” put forward by creation “scientists” that it was this very water canopy that came crashing down to Earth and caused the Great Flood. Which just goes to show, that if you believe that an invisible man is holding all the atoms of the universe together, anything is possible. After all, genius has its limits, but true stupidity is boundless.

The real irony of all this is that whilst Our Hero was typing his little message – on a computer, under an electric light – he probably had satellite TV playing in the background…

About PsyGremlin

PsyGremlin is a former Conservapedia sysop (although the position was earned nefariously), stand up comedian, DJ, and is currently a self-employed financial adviser, who impersonates a responsible adult at least 5 days a week. However, highlighting and poking fun at the crazies out there remains his first love. Well besides pork crackling. And custard. And cricket.
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9 Responses to The End Result of Biblical Literalism

  1. brx says:

    Isn’t the word literalism?

  2. “The Smithsonian – a place I would happily sell my mother organ’s to see one day”

  3. Worm says:

    Can we club together to arrange a meeting between this doofus and Buzz Aldrin?

    I’m sure Buzz would clarify the ‘is space travel possible’ question very quickly, in his usual diplomatic style.

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